There is no need to apologize. We come here to give and receive advice. Yes you are right. I sometimes feel sorry for him because his relationships before me all lasted an average of 3 months. He always described them as psychos etc. he had nothing good to say about them and he was always the victim.

I truly pray that one day I will feel whole enough to be in a healthy relationship but for right now I am not ready.

Chad you are absolutely correct.
What I mean by dating myself is precisely what you said. Maybe I should have been clearer. After this relationship I had to go back and examine all my past relationships and ask why they failed. I read an article right here when the breakup first happened that advices me to look within. What part did I do to make it fail. One is because I didn’t think better of myself like I didn’t deserve a better relationship for several reasons I’d rather not mention. Once I was able to discover and come up with reasons I started working with a counselor (I still am). Until I fix those things I will continue to get the same results no matter whom I’m with. You are right about what you said about my ex and I. I failed or didn’t want to see who he showed me he is. We were in a long distance relationship.
This relationship is the wake up call that I needed to examine ME. I was pointing out my ex because of his words. I know that I won’t entertain or even attempt a relationship with someone who tells me he can’t give me what I want. Or isn’t ready for a relationship when I become emotionally ready. My ex did love me the way he knew how. I still love him. I maybe a little annoyed. But I won’t continue dating because he is when I know I have a lot of work to do on me. I can’t control him but I can control me. I hope I’m clearer now and thanks.