Hi everyone,

Thanks for the advice.

Anita, perhaps what you say is right, but he was initially equally invested too. Both of us were in it, and he was the one who made the first step to come to my city as well. And though it’s a short time since we met – we underwent major life changes in the first six months and the relationship was a great source of energy, understanding and support for both of us.

He called me on NY, sounding happy. I was happy to know that he seemed to be doing great. Suddenly it seemed like things were normal. We spoke a couple of times after that, however, it’s bewildering – one day it’s like we’re these great friends and the next day it’s all very strained.

I think part of me still feels quite bitter about our fight earlier, and the fact that there’s been no apology from his side about some of the things he said. I find it odd to suddenly be ‘normal’ and pretend like nothing happened in the last few months without talking about it.

I’ve decided the best thing I can do it to just let go of all of this mentally and stop being affected by this. I myself have taken several steps back from this friendship and I feel it’s better I just leave it to time and space.

I read somewhere that you never have to ask someone to make space in their lives for you – if they want to, they will. If it’s meant to be, it will. In the meantime, I’m just going to take care of myself, focus on my marriage and prep for my big overseas move 🙂

• This reply was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by Pree.

Thank you everyone! I doubt that he suddenly fell in love with me – he’s been actively dating throughout. In fact, he even said he’d be there at the wedding (but my wedding was moved to another city – that’s another story). I feel disappointed, hurt and utterly confused. He would always tell me relationship troubles should be solved between two people but here I am trying to dissect the situation with everyone else but him. Because he’s not helping! It takes two to sort things out.

Before we fought I had left him a few ‘Can we talk when you’re free?’ messages to which he never did respond. I’m starting to wonder whether I even want to pursue someone who clearly has suddenly decided to shut me out without explanation. It’s like both of us put in 100% earlier, and then he started being distant and I tried to put in 200% which made his contribution drop to 0.

Perhaps none of this is even on his mind right now, and I’m the only one trying to salvage what I think is a solid friendship. I stood by at every point, and I suddenly feel like I don’t count.

I guess I need to put this behind me for now – because I might lose it if I keep analysing what could have gone wrong.
If friendship can’t be reciprocal and mutual, why try anymore?

A part of me if full of anger and resentment, and a part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt. How do I get it to stop pricking me so much?

P.S. Wish you all a very Happy New Year, with strong, happy, healthy relationships!

• This reply was modified 8 years, 12 months ago by Pree.