I do relate to what you are describing. It reminds me of a time after I was in a major car accident, (four cars one motorcycle, I was the first impacted). Afterwards, for a very a long time I couldn’t walk thru a grocery store without fear on an energetic level of having a cart run into me. And, hugs, I couldn’t tolerate any that included what felt like slapping, which I’m sure were meant as patting. I couldn’t watch tv that had any violence because I Felt it too much. I was open. But, I was also young and had no guidance.
Now, I’m older! I feel raw again. I had to take a medical leave from work because I was vacillating between swift and large rages, dark cloaked depressions or free flowing and uncontrollable tears. Not a very reliable employee! I’ve finally found a therapist, starting this week…changed my psychotropic meds began reading a spiritual book with my Sister on the phone every day.
It sounds to me as though you are doing beautiful aware work. I like the idea of talking with your therapist about what you feel is missing. Maybe she can help with this next step, maybe she can’t. Be in the question, pray and or meditate on I t. You ARE on your path!

Many Sweet Wishes,
Kimberly