Hi Zita,
I don’t know why the emptiness is so heavy but I carry that weight too. Â I’ve spent hours on the internet searching for answers and never contacted anyone – you are the first. Â My struggling heart goes out to you and wishes you peace and connection.
I feel you’ve started the journey and though it can feel really daunting, each step we take will make us grow.  I have to remind myself daily that it is a voyage of self discovery and with each new awareness, new possibilities unfold.  This is a special time for us and gratitude has makes a huge difference for me.  It takes me out of myself and puts me back in the world.  Those brief moments give me a sense of  calm and connectedness with all.
Here’s a huge hug to you. Â We aren’t alone. ?