I always have this trouble…

I have 20 years old and right now i’m in the third year of college.  Until this moment, I thought that I was doing well in my life. Always having really good grades, a group of friends, a family that always supported me, no economic or health problems…Hell, even a lot of people think I’m a cool and handsome guy.

As today, nothing of that has changed. Only me. I have become more anxious and I’m always at the verge of tears. I cry for no reason at all. My head is always so full of thoughts that I cant enjoy the present moment without having those little annoying conversations in my head. Always telling me the worst, always speaking shit about me, always fearing. I have even become fearful of my friends. Friends that always loved me back and have never ever betrayed me. I  dont understand what is happening to me…

I would love to see myself in the mirror and smiling once again.  But I can’t. It doesnt matter how many people have tried to tell me that everything is fine, that I’m not a bad person, etc.

My life is perfect.But I cant enjoy it anymore. I don’t even like myself. But people love me anyway. I dont get it.

I am my worst enemy. Always throwing junk at myself and robbing the  joy and laughter from life.

• This reply was modified 11 years, 7 months ago by Alexander Kazoo.