Anita, you touched a soft spot for me with that question. I can’t even find a word to describe my childhood. Up until I was in middle school I had a great childhood with the best parents who gave my siblings and I everything we could ask for. It wasn’t until then through high school that my parents, individually and as a couple, started to struggle. It was tough and a constant fight with bad influences from friends and family, lots of anger and hurt. Thankfully I’ve come a long way since then.
Looking back I never would have thought that I felt alone, but now I can see it, especially during that rough period. Scared – yes. Anger – hell yeah.
I think since then I’ve always felt alone. I’ve just been good at hiding it, not showing or expressing my true emotions/thoughts, masking it with friends, activities, a smile.
Since I started yoga three years ago and began teaching, I’ve gotten more in tune with my emotions and expressing myself. I love it; it’s a blessing. I also feel that is has made me feel all my emotions harder – including sadness and loneliness that has been suppressed for a long time.
Thank you Anita for your question… It has really made me dig deeper into why I’m experiencing this now. It’s hard for me to do it on my own. Your perspective was that extra push I needed. Next is figuring out the work I need to do to move past this.