Eliana,

I love Wayne Dyer!  I haven’t read ‘Your Erroneous Zones’ but that’s going on my book list.

It’s interesting that Wayne Dyer wrote this, because in the late 1990’s (when ‘The 4 Agreements’ debuted) he gave praise towards it, also ‘The Law of Attraction’ (which is an awesome book in itself).  I accidentally forgot to mention that ‘always do your best’ has more depth than just the superficiality of the ‘do your best’ part.   That TOTALLY spawns paranoia and self-damaging thoughts.  Don Miguel Ruiz (the author of the book) elaborates a little more on this agreement (from the book):

“…Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret…”

🙂

RB,

Thank you for sharing your story and giving thoughtful input.  I was actually in CBT for around 6 years and it helped me greatly.   I stopped going because I had pretty much developed the skills to function normally, had gotten back on my feet and had work, etc.  I guess when things start going well in life, I tend to forget/neglect about the coping skills I had developed…It’s like exercise: you get out of shape if you don’t keep on working out.  I guess I got out of shape with mindfulness and keeping my coping skills in the current.  I just need to start getting back on track and focusing on the present, meditating, journaling, etc.   Sometime’s it’s so hard to schedule out a chunk of ‘nothing’ where I just sit quietly.

I wanted to thank everyone for helping me out during this traumatizing time.  Your input, stories, and assistance have really helped to ground me and realize that there are good people in the world:)

Hi Eliana,

Your story rings similar to my own.  Thank you for sharing.  I’m actually on Vyvanse for OCD and was just prescribed generic Xanax to take if I feel an anxiety attack might be creeping up.   That whole ‘at will’ things is a blessing and a curse.

I’ve been let go once before from a job for my mental health (back in 2008 I was hospitalized for a break down and missed a week of work, but my manager was a jerk.  It was a coffee shop job, which I loved, but I didn’t enjoy it after a few months).  That hurt a lot, but I rebounded.   Getting fired from my “dream job” because of the aforementioned and to just see someone so disappointed in me really rocked my core…I feel like I’m failing at life in general.  I think I’ve cried more in the past week than I have in the past two years.

Hi Anita,

Thank you for your reply.  I was ill for three days, and my supervisor had told me to rest up.  A week or so later, I had a panic attack in the morning out of nowhere and they told me to go home, clear my head, and that ‘it happens to all of us’, just ‘keep us in the loop’ (which I did).  Last Friday (7/29) I was sexually assaulted, and that really put a bender on me…I was shaky, couldn’t think, severely triggered.  I texted my HR person and my supervisor, they told me to stay home until Thursday.  They requested a note from a doctor.  I was trying to make contact with my psychiatrist but he had been on vacation.  I let my job know about it, and they said ‘keep us in the loop’.  Again.

Tuesday afternoon rolls around and my psychiatrist calls me, says he can get me in on Thursday at 6:15am and get me a note.  I relay the message to my HR person.  She responds later that the 3 heads of the company and herself would like to have a meeting at 9:00 on Monday to talk about my performance prior to the event.  Thursday I go see my doctor, get a prescription for an anxiety medication (to show that I’m taking the initiative and trying to get better).  I email the note to HR, a few hours later she emails me back and says the meeting has been moved to 10:30 on Monday, and to not come in on Friday and just rest.   I’m sensing that the inevitable is going to happen, though other people are telling me that it’s just a review.

But on Saturday morning, I go to check my work email (because I’d like to know what’s going on just in case; I’m salaried, so this is ok to do anyway).  There’s a notification in my that says I’ve been locked out of my Dropbox.  I begin to get a little nervous, call my HR lady and ask her ‘I logged into my email and it said my access to our Dropbox has been canceled.  With all the events leading up to today, am I going to get fired?  If this is so, can I come in today and pick up my stuff so I can leave with a little dignity and not have everyone watch me on Monday?’  She tells me I’m very unprofessional by calling me on a Saturday, and I say ‘yes, I’m being very unprofessional.  I’m sorry.  My mistake.’  Then she says ‘You no longer have access to you Dropbox.  Do you have access to your email?’  I reply ‘yes’.  She says ‘ok, I’ll see you on Monday.’  Not 15 minutes later, I’m locked out of my email.

Around 12:45pm that same day, I get a text message from her asking if I could come to the office and see her and my supervisor.  They hand me a letter stating I’m fired, let me clean my desk, and I go.  I asked why the reason for my being fired, and my supervisor stated ‘At-will employment’.  HR said that she’d be a reference for me because they ‘want me to be happy and succeed’.  But I dunno about that.

I contacted my local employment agency who got me the job and my rep said she had spoken with the supervisor and said that they had let me go because they didn’t think I could handle the stressed and that I was always stressed out, which is far from the truth.  I only had these issues while working there (sick for three days, one anxiety attack, assault).

I thought it was from absences maybe, but I’m feeling it’s more like fear of people with mental health issues.  I dunno.  It’s a bummer.

Thank you in advance for your input (Sorry for the novel!)