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  • June 19, 2018 at 6:21 am #213123
    M
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    Hey Leni, so sorry to hear this 🙁 I graduated in 2016, but I was a bit similar in that I didn’t really have any friends for most of high school, and got ditched by previous close friends.

    Firstly, are there any school psychologists you can talk to about this? I know it may seem like your teachers don’t care, but surely there’s at least one kind/trusted one you can approach. I feel like a lot of these things may be in your head, and you may be assuming people hate you without good reason when they may just be in a bad mood, shy too, or not even paying attention.

    As for the friends issues, are there any clubs you could possibly join with like minded people? As I said, I didn’t really have friends for most of high school so totally understand it’s hard and people can be really judgmental, but I feel it’s likely there’s at least some nice people out there who don’t care about popularity.

    I can’t honestly speak for your parents, but have you tried telling your brother about these feelings. If he knew things are this bad, I would think he would take the time to talk about it with you.

    Finally, although this can be very difficult, my #1 advice would be to stop comparing yourself to others, and just be the best person you can be (focusing on this usually helps me when I feel down) – Are there any subjects you’re passionate about in school that you could excel at with enough effort? Any hobbies you’d like to try? Think about your interests and go from there

    Hope this helped at least a bit, and feel feel to message me on here if you’d like someone to chat to.

    June 19, 2018 at 5:56 am #213117
    M
    Participant

    Firstly, I think you should see a professional to continually talk about this, it sounds like there’s an underlying issue. (if you’re not already doing this)

    Secondly, I want you to know that I’m so sorry for what happened to you, but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, just that one person is evil (and as you pointed out, this is definitely not a reflection on the whole gay community, just one evil person). In fact, I recently read a somewhat similar story you may relate to https://imgur.com/gallery/JzVexXE . I think society as a whole has a f**ked up mentality towards masculinity, and you should be able to share this and get justice. But given you survived this, I’d say you’re a very strong and admirable person.

    As for your hobbies, I’d just suggest trying to get back into them slowly or possibly even try new stuff, with no pressure or expectations. But getting engaged with stuff you love is a great way to clear the mind and feel better.

    In terms of relationships, I’d say get out there and meet new people/friends, possibly with common interests/hobbies to help refuel your own interest, and also spending time with your current close friends you mentioned. But don’t have actively search for a new girlfriend; if the right person comes along it should fall into place naturally

    Hope this was at least some help, take care xx

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by M.
    June 19, 2018 at 5:43 am #213115
    M
    Participant

    Focus on improving yourself and your qualities instead of relying on others to tell you you’re attractive to make you happy

    May 17, 2018 at 3:25 pm #207997
    M
    Participant

    Hi Anita, thanks so much for reading and responding to my post. I probably should have been more clear, but I used to have a really close friends group, then when high school started most people changed which probably caused some trust issues, and since around 15 I haven’t really had any close friends or connected with people (which was also around the time that stuff started with that boy ), although in my last year of high school I had a decent group I hung around, but I wasn’t extremely close with them and haven’t been in contact since graduating in 2016, although there were a couple of other friends I have caught up with  rarely last year. I’m 19 now.

    I think I have more of a socially detachment/awkwardness issue than full blown anxiety, but I feel this is too abnormal for me to not have something wrong with me and I need to fix it or I’ll never have anyone other than my family (who I can’t rely on forever). I’ll probably aim to at least book and try one session after exams finish. Even if it’s just talking about it and letting it out, I think it will help

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