Wow, where do I begin. I want to help so I’m going straight to your questions. You are obsessed with a married man. And yes, it is fair that you have to let go of the only bright light in your life because HE IS A MARRIED MAN.
Do you really think this guy wants your phone number showing up on his cell while he’s eating dinner with his wife?
There are a hundred single guys right this second that would love to spend time with you, but these guys see you drooling on a married guy. And women seem to have no earthly idea how big of a turn off that is to single men.
It is hard for you to let go because females are biologically wired to want other women’s men. You are just going to have to find a guy with a girlfriend instead of a wife.

Akim, I’m sorry for what you are going thru, I feel for you. I’m kinda going thru a similar thing and It is gut wrenching. I’ve got the same movie replaying in my mind and it never stops. Regret is a mind and soul destroyer. It is so hard to move past it all. Your only friend is time. While you wait for time to somehow heal the wound, you must distract yourself. It is hard but you must get out and and get moving. From your post, you say you had so many opportunities. Guess what? More are out there, the opportunities will come if you are out there. I had to learn the hard way that there were zero opportunities in my living room. When I finally went out one day to the store, the cute checkout girl gave me the biggest smile and brightest eyes. For ten minutes, I completely forgot all about my situation. That one little interaction was enough to inspire me to get out a little bit more (back to that store for sure!). I’m still working thru my deal, and it’s very difficult….but man, I’m telling you from tough experience, get out there. All you need right now is a small spark to get your engine going. Go to a concert, bar, club, party, heck I went to the grocery store! Hang in there! Peace and good vibes coming your way

I just had to say that when I read your post I see a survivor, a fighter, and a warrior. You just hang in there and keep up the fight. You gave me strength today, you are a blessing. Much Peace and happiness to you

A few weeks ago my father told me he was sorry for something. Something that happened when I was a child and I never gave it a second thought back then. He yelled at me one day for some reason when I was a kid and he told me that he was wrong and could never let it go, even after all these years. I remember what happened, it wasn’t even that big of a deal, but to him the words that came out haunted him for years. I could see the weight coming off his mind when he told me and I said it was cool and I forgave him and never thought bad of him. I know I’ve said some things that I wish I could take back, and I was in the same situation with my ex. I told this person I was so sorry for what I said. My anger lasted a few minutes, but my love lasts forever. We did not see each much after we broke up, but I know in my heart things were set straight with us and we’re cool. I wish you so much Peace and happiness