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Patricia

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  • May 6, 2016 at 8:11 pm #103829
    Patricia
    Participant

    Update:

    So the past few weeks has been extremely draining. I usually just brush everything off, but it’s really been getting to me lately. I tried confiding in a couple friends recently (more to de-stress and get if off my chest really), but they always try to see the best in people and they don’t think it’s that big of a deal (if anything at all).

    The more I thought about it, the more petty it seemed that I was “complaining.” But what I don’t think they realize is that these aren’t small separate incidences – it’s one person after another intentionally doing the same thing to me.

    May 2, 2016 at 7:45 pm #103412
    Patricia
    Participant

    OMG Karen,

    I was reading your reply and I kept going “Yes… Yes… Yes…” It described EXACTLY what has been going on with her and her friends. I had researched personality disorders and kept coming to NPD, but at times it seemed so extreme that I wasn’t sure if that was it. I am definitely going to do some more research on it.

    Thanks so much for responding!

    Pat

    April 28, 2016 at 4:10 pm #103063
    Patricia
    Participant

    Hi anita,

    Thanks for responding. I think Inky hit the nail on the head. That is not to say that you are not correct either. It could very well be that she’s also upset because she could not manipulate me – she is VERY good at it!

    Thank you both for your insights! It has helped tremendously in helping me understand what is going on.

    Pat

    April 28, 2016 at 2:26 pm #103049
    Patricia
    Participant

    Hi anita,

    I am a straight woman and she just got a new boyfriend so there is no attraction that I know of.

    The personal gain that I was referring to was in regards to grades. She knew that I was smart and got good grades so she used me to try and improve hers. She did things like: she would ask to check her homework with mine so she could get 100% but then she wouldn’t say anything if she noticed I made a mistake; she would always come to me for help but would play dumb if I had a question about something; she would also get mad when I did better than her on exams and also tried steer me in the wrong direction intentionally (on several occasions) so she could have a leg up; she even tried to take credit for things that I did academically and would intentionally take courses after me (with the same professor) then ask for my old exams. There’s more, but then we could be here forever – literally.

    I do believe that part of her hatred towards me is because she was always trying to compete with me and always lost.

    Pat

    April 28, 2016 at 2:01 pm #103046
    Patricia
    Participant

    Hi Inky,

    Thanks for responding! I have been direct with her on two occasions. She just ends up walking away then it all just gets worse; her looks get more hateful and her friends get meaner, so I’ve just been polite when needed (at work) then ignoring them the rest of the time.

    I have also dealt with the social media issue. As soon as I caught them browsing through my social media I deleted and blocked all of them, and double checked my privacy settings. The only thing is, we do share common friends from work. I’ve known these people longer than they have and I consider them good friends so I didn’t want to delete them too. A few of my really close friends know what is going on, but the others I haven’t told as I don’t want them to be put in the middle. These girls that I’ve been dealing with can come off so sweet, genuine, and kind when they want to.

    I think you may be right about the obsession and that she’ll eventually move on (hopefully!), but then I feel bad for her next victim. No one should have to go through this. And the romanticizing part actually doesn’t sound all that weird…

    Thanks,
    Pat

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