Hey Hannah,
I am so glad you posted this and you are not rambling. I could understand everything you typed. So lets talk.You feel stuck and annoyed and tired.I know the feeling
Lets make this simple: I would like you try one thing. Now remember, with this idea if you really focus you can find negatives and if you focus you will find positives.If you feel in any way that this idea may help you, then you should try and I did say the word try so keep trying because it will prosper, it has been proven to prosper by Napoleon Hill, Bob proctor and many others.
Idea: You think of what you really want in life. Ofcourse, you may have many things but just one item that you believe you can’t do about. One thing that you will feel you will do anything to achieve it. When you have it, write it on a notecard, have a date you wish to accomplish it, write what price are you willing to pay and write your visualization what happens when you achieve it.
This is your goal.BE SPECIFIC ABOUT YOUR GOAL. Read the notecard every day numerous times and visualize what happens when you will achieve your goal.
One thing by the time you will reach your goal, because you will, you will fail at the goal several times. But you still must try and keep trying.