Hi Aiyana,

I’m still here. The young man I was dating tried to lure me back in on FB Messenger, saying he still loved me, and he wanted to try again. The following day (yesterday) he wanted to chat and called me to tell me that he was drunk and that we were both too mentally ill to see me. I had to black him on FB, but before I could finish, he cussed me out in a message.

One minute he wanted me, the next he didn’t. I dedicated 7 mos. of my life to this man who I now feel was using me for sex, rides (he has no car) and cleaning his home.

I do believe I will die a loner. It’s a fear I struggle with every day. Now that I have blocked him, maybe I can heal.

Thanks for asking.

Peter, if I woke up without memories, I might be able to handle many stresses. I have nightmares based on these memories. My dreams revolve around being chased, to being dejected… They are awful.

I don’t know how to erase the memories. I’d love a second chance to live again under different happier circumstances. That’s not the reality of my situation. Living with a toxic human being is a constant reminder of what I’ve been through. I can’t even walk from my bedroom to the kitchen and back without being reminded to turn off the light switches when I move from room to room. I’m on edge in this house. As I mentioned above, I do not have the finances to move away from my Mom.

I don’t know of any other way to get out of this hell!

Thank you for all that you’ve said to me. I haven’t slept in 36 hours due to stress and my Mom. I have leg problems. I am a guitarist and competed in a showcase in Atlanta. Since I had broken up with my boyfriend who was gonna drive me down there, my Mom offered to drive me. I should have never taken her up on it. Whenever I drive for longer than about 20 minutes, I have bad leg pain. Also, I can’t go up stairs.

My Mom, knowing I can’t go up a flight of stairs, called some relatives so we could stay over night at their house. I asked her to make sure there were no stairs. She remembered they had a single-story house. She didn’t ask them. When we pulled up into the neighborhood, all the houses were 2 stories. I was absolutely furious with her this because all of the bedroom were upstairs. also I had access to only a half-bath, so no shower. I ended up trying to sleep on an uncomfortable recliner without success.

I am severely mentally ill and have been considering the end for a while.

The entire time down, I was trying to direct her using the Waze app for traffic patterns…. She argued and questioned me throughout the drive down. As we got closer to Atlanta, I would tell her to get in a certain lane and she’d insist that we need to be in another lane. I was right 90% of the time.

The point is I have to live with this woman. When I tell her we are out of 9-volt batteries, she questions me and I go open the drawer to show her that WE DO NOT HAVE ANY 9-volts. This is just one of the many instances where throughout my life, she has been critical and doesn’t believe me when I tell her something and has to check it out for herself. She has no idea what this has done to me. She doesn’t trust my word, she hovers, she makes suggestions that I do not welcome, she it concerned about one thing, the house and what is wrong with it.

I am trapped in this house because I’m on disability and financially strained due to a ton of medical problems.

I hurt mentally, I hurt physically and I’m tired of it all.

Alyana, I don’t care about the media. I had a great time with this man. I think my Mom had a ton to do with the break-up. There was a scratch on the stove. Steven did it. The counters need to be wiped better, I had to talk to Steven. There was some sugar remnants left on the counter after Steven DID wipe up and then we got ants and that was because Steven left sugar on the counter. She said something to him. He once said to me, “Your Mom is going to kill you.” By this he meant the amount of stress and BS I have to deal with.

I give up! I don’t have familial love, I am physically disabled now and I can’t exercise or go out without doping up to relieve pain so I can enjoy a night out.

I am 54 with no children. I would have to say that what ultimately killed me was being bullied in high school. There I was bullied every day, then came home to a mother that would not leave me alone. I had to lock myself in a room and listen to music through headphones. I had no friends and this high school gave out “funny” awards my senior year. I was already depressed as hell and they gave me the “Old Maid” award. So I am the least popular girl in my class. Meanwhile my model-like sister was popular, homecoming queen, prom queen, cheerleader dating a football player. You get the picture.

The negativity I was surrounded by during those essential years made me who I am now.

Every year, I wish that it will be a good year. Nope. Year after year, I have had major trauma, medical problems… I CANNOT TALE IT ANY LONGER!!!!!!!!!