Thank you for your reply Anita. I believe it all stems from my obsession with controlling things as well as my own feeling of low self-esteem. I was very critical of her, I demanded that she should change certain things in her life (which I believed were objectively positive things like quitting smoking pot and tobacco or exercising more). Despite all that, I chose the wrong method of communication, which didn’t really help. That said, in a wicked sort of way I always had her best interest at heart. She interpreted it the wrong way, given my screaming and shouting.

I really appreciate your comment Ramone. The advice you have given me seems reasonable yet feels so counter-intuitive. I think us still living in the same house makes it extremely difficult for me to resist the temptation to bring up a serious topic and discuss our relationship. That is evidently something she wants to avoid. I will try to incorporate the things you said about self-betterment and all the rest of it. The only problem is whether it is healthy for us to still live together. Perhaps she can move to a different room but might it be that this proximity will still jeopardise our future? Her family doesn’t want me to move out (it’s their house), my family says I should stay and even my ex says I should stay. I’m just so confused.