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October 20, 2015 at 11:28 am #85719pamhbParticipant
Here are a few suggestions that I have found useful when times get tough:
1. Let go of the past. Every day is part of a journey forward, and about learning to accept what the moment presents to us, whether good, bad, or indifferent. Life in slow motion is a good time to explore who you really are, and what you want to embrace as your core values. If you want to live a rich, full life, then you must explore the values that will be part of that life, and make choices that uphold your values. And you must recognize that a rich, full, life includes sorrow, anger, fear and other negative emotions. None of us are given a life without them.
2. When you feel sorrow or other strong emotions, here are some choices I use:
— Simply lean into the emotion. Don’t label it as being something in particular, such as sorrow; just feel it with a sense of curiosity. Where exactly does it rest in your body? What is the physical feel of it? How far does that feeling extend physically? Imagine picking it up and cradling it, embracing it, acknowledging it, and then giving it permission to rest in the vastness of the universe of your mind. Do not create a story line around it, whether about your past or your future; simply regard it with self compassion and as being what you are feeling in the moment.— Alternatively, try holding the emotion closely and create a sentence around it — for example, “I’m afraid can’t do this alone”. Feel how your body reacts to that emotional statement. Now change the statement to “I am having the thought that I’m afraid I can’t do this alone”. Check in again and see how your body is feeling. Now change the statement to “I notice I am having the thought that I’m afraid that I can’t do this alone.” Check in again on how you are feeling physically. You should notice a sense that the emotion is starting to move further away from you and isn’t as entangled with your mind. Imagine cupping in your hands the thought “I notice I am having the thought that I can’t do this alone” and regard it with some curiosity. How much of that issue statement can you control? What can you do so that you are not alone? What support systems can you build? What resources are out there to help you? And if there is absolutely nothing you can do to change or control any part of the situation, then just give yourself permission to let the thought rest where it is. Focus on what you can do, rather than what you can’t.
We cannot push our emotions away, but we can learn to embrace them as part of life, and then let them go so that we can move on. There will be joy again in your life, but it will come in a different form and from different people.
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