I’m sorry you’ve had to go thru this struggle. I have been battling a debilitating depression and in the last 3 years I’ve been in a death spiral…the last 3 yrs the result of many, many yrs finally catching up with me. Right now ….well let’s just say I’m trying to have faith and hope. I tell u that to say from what little you’ve shared I think you’re doing great. You may not feel like u are but please try to believe sometimes our feelings…well i hope this makes some sense to you…sometimes our feelings don’t truly reflect our situation. I’m not explaining this very well but it sounds to me like you’re on your way even if it doesn’t feel that way to you now. You gave yourself credit by saying you’re doing very well compared to where you were 3 yrs ago. I tell myself everyday that fear is the opposite of faith. I think you are so smart and very self aware of you and that’s huge. One thing u said I would ask that u think about…u said if u don’t succeed your marriage and parents health will be forever ruined. That’s very selfless of you and shows so much love on your part but you left out the most important person…you. Take care of you, love you, believe in you by doing that you will and I believe you are succeeding. By taking care of you being kind to yourself, the healing you experience will take care of them. Be patient with yourself and give yourself credit for the work you’ve done and how far you’ve come. Sorry so long….I’m sending good thought your way. And although it’s not easy have faith in yourself and the good things that are coming your way.
Take care……Pamela