Hello. I am also feeling the same way. It was extremely hard for me to take the decision to break up with someone I love. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I knew that this relationship was not the best one for me nor for her.

She suffers from depression, and her emotions tend to go up and down. We were together for 2 years and a half, and during that time, I helped her improve a lot with her sickness. She managed to find a great psychiatrist for her, and she improved greatly on her problems. She also made me grow a lot. I was a cold and quiet person, and she made me more affectionate and caring for those that I love.

However, as the relationship went on, we had to face very difficult moments due to her depression. It was very hard for me, because I have a lot of empathy and I am very sensible. It broke me seeing her feel so bad. Also, during those lows, we tended to question the relationship and have painful discussions. We had already given ourselves 2 chances to try again when one of us was overwhelmed by the relationship. After those discussions, we actually improved our ways and made an effort to be better for one another. However, in retrospective, I see that both of us sometimes valued more the happiness of the other person more than our own. We sacrificed things for the other person to be comfortable. I know that love means that you are able to compromise things for your partner, but I think these efforts took a toll on our personal happiness.

In the end, when the idea of ending the relationship came to me, I realized that none of us were doing things wrong, we only were really different persons. These differences made the relationship difficult to enjoy fully. She is very antisocial, and I enjoy to hang out with friends frequently. Our sexual appetites did not match. I really enjoy to work, to learn new things and to invest time in my hobbies, making me more distanced and unable to be with her very frequently. She, on the other hand, is more passive and does not actively pursue hobbies or new goals, mainly because she firstly needs to battle her depression and own problems. This also makes her more needing of affection and support, and the fact that she needed me there, and sometimes I wanted to work on my things or invest time in my hobbies, was very stressing for me. I wasn’t able to give her the affection she needed. These differences, added to the fact that I am very sensible to her problems (and often made them my own tough I shouldn’t), made me understand that this wasn’t the right relationship for me. The spark was gone, and I didn’t want to stay with her out of pity, or to stay without giving all my passion to the relationship. I still love her dearly, but fell out of love.

This has been the most difficult decision of my life. I still care for her deeply, but I know this was the correct thing to do. Delaying my feelings and staying for the wrong reasons would have been very painful for the both of us. I feel very guilty because I was her main support while battling depression, and she was fighting with a strong episode last month. After breaking up, I contacted her doctor and her brother to make sure they could take care of her. I am also sad because the relationship had very good moments and she genuinely wished to become a better person. The guilt and sadness of hurting her are very strong right now. Sometimes I question my choice, but decide to stay strong and stay with it, as it is the better for both of us.