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opaki

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  • in reply to: Am i throwing away 'mature love'? #187695
    opaki
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    It is so late  here, but I couldn’t just go away from your post. I am having the exact same situation , except that I am a woman. Everything else is the same.

    Now, I’ve been thinking about the relationships, maturity and commitment all together and here is what I think: the lack of joy and positivity   is not something we can blame our relationship for. Love is something you have to nurture, every day and all the time. People who can do that or are doing that actually made a decision to do so and they are just committed to that decision. Trying to step back is a sign of your uncertainty, but the the question is if you are uncertain about yourself, your identity and your future or about something else. In my case, I have realized I am afraid I won’t be able to experience all the things I wanted to and the commitment would stop me from my personal growth. Whether this is true or not, the fact is that has nothing to do with the man I’m sharing my house with. If I was motivated to live the life to the fullest regardless of everything else, there would be no doubt-I would either stay or leave, because when you are in peace with yourself, you are certain about the direction.

    If you can, put (in your mind) your relationship aside and then think about your future. If you are not satisfied with what you see, the first thing to discover is if leaving this woman would make any change. Then, all you have to is to act accordingly.

    I hope you’ll settle this soon. Wish you all the best.

    Hellen

     

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