Hi

It is exactly my words too when I’m alone, I feel lonely but when I’m with others, all I want is to be alone. A Prisoner in My Own Life” well said Karen. I’m 35 years old . been married for 20 years and my only son is 8 year-old. yes I was 14 arranged marriage the only way to come to America. finished my high school, bachelor in design and currently working on my MBA here in U.S . love to paint and color. The artistic imagination visionary skill is part of me. I always helped my husband at his auto dealership after school. his family are my blood family too. they are very hard people to talk or even deal with in general. they are so out, very traditional and think they still living back home still haven’t and never will be adjusted to western culture. my husband was always against me to continue education or even working with others for what I always liked  fashion, design, art and make up. I never have work experience I applied for jobs but I think because I don’t have any work experience for my major or something that I always liked to work I never got excepted any jobs offer. my 20 s past just to be a house wife. After having  a lots of complications to get pregnant with my miracle son life opened my eyes in different angles I expect more from life, I looked at my self as a beautiful young educated wife that had never dated anybody in her life except my husband I’m started to be more curious about others living a life differently, honestly social medias also helped me a lot that I can have a better look in life . I shouldn’t stick to my husband and his family problems, stresses and dramas everyday. I deserve a better life. I feel like I’m in the cage everyday learned how to fly but doors are locked on her to fly to try. . I’m a survivor . that pregnancy made me so strong and tough, but lately I been feeling weak, lost alone, disconnect and depress. I started my online MBA recently to make my mind occupy and don’t think too much. there are some family issues going on from my husband’s dad is very ill with cancer and on the other hand my sister has some personal issue and depression and stress in her life with her husband  that affected mine too every day for last 8 months. I’m so overwhelmed with depression from family  . His dealership is not doing good either. so financial problem that we are facing is hard because I haven’t suffered financially for long time so its hard to digest.  I’m trying to get my real estate license to secretly working that hopefully my husband wont find out. and focus to finish my master by next year. I’m confused all I know I’m not happy everyday. even though I always thank god  for my son  and my husband are healthy I’m healthy what else do I want!! sorry for grammar error and twisted sentences.