Hi R,

I can completely relate to the way you’re feeling. I am going through a hard breakup myself, and I wish I had some advice to give you. All I can say is that I’ve learned to take it one day at a time, and that seems to be working for now.

I read this article on TB the other day, and I think you may benefit from it. Good luck and take care.

http://dev.tinybuddha.com/blog/can-make-brain-fall-out-of-love/

-Charlotte

Carmen,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this, I can only imagine how you must feel. I think it’s important that you take a step back from the relationship, and really analyze it from a non-judgemental perspective. What do you need from a relationship and were those needs being met? The same question goes for your partner, what does he need and were those needs being met? I think we tend to get ourselves into some trouble when we assume everything is going well, when really sometimes we’re afraid to admit that there are some issues. By no means am I trying to say that your relationship had issues, but your boyfriend’s abrupt behavior leads me to believe that maybe something has been bothering him for some time. Maybe he is young and is scared because he doesn’t want to be tied down just yet. Videogames may be his source of happiness, and we have to be careful when we try to regulate other’s happiness (although I do understand that you have your needs as well). It’s important that both people in the relationship maintain who they are, and don’t get lost in each other so much that they stray from their true self because that’s where conflict can arise as well.

I’m not sure if any of this even makes sense. Maybe just let some time go by, and if it’s meant to be it will work itself out. However, the universe may have something else in store for you – so try not to shut out new opportunities and experiences because you’re in pain. Let yourself grieve, heal, and try and move on.

I’ll be thinking about you. Take care.