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Olic

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  • April 26, 2015 at 9:04 am in reply to: Considerations for a Life Alone #75832
    Olic
    Participant

    Hey guys,

    Thanks for your replies.

    I have been examining my feelings and I think that the “meh” feeling is a cover. I think it just comes down to me being too busy as I finish my thesis and coursework. I’ve come to the conclusion that it must not be something I really want right now. The priorities seem to be getting paid and having adventures.

    I did very much enjoy being in a relationship, and am certainly not asexual but given the work load right now, and the lack of the opposite sex around me, I’ll wait for a while.

    Thanks again! I think I’m set for now at least!

    April 23, 2015 at 6:21 pm in reply to: Considerations for a Life Alone #75735
    Olic
    Participant

    christophermcd,

    Thanks for the reply!

    I certainly don’t see it as something to be ashamed of. It’s not that I don’t have the time to pursue a sex life, but that I feel like I’ve given up. I don’t feel like I suppress my sexual/romantic desires – but I do feel like they are beginning to wane.

    I frankly don’t know what female interest actually looks like but I don’t think that I get it. Added to this, I study graduate math at a tech school which is a recipe for isolation from women. I am by no means passive, asocial, or sedentary. I tend to be the person that arranges outings, and introduces new people to my social circles. From the lack interest I drew that I was unlikely to have anyone interested in me seeing as I have been single for a bit less than two years now.

    About a month ago, I thought about this and came to the conclusion that it is very likely that I’ll spend the rest of my life alone. With that in mind, I decided that if I were going to spend the rest of my life alone, I would still make it as excellent of one as possible. The loss of interest in relationships/sex came after this, and was followed by my increased intensity in other areas of my life.

    Thanks again!

    April 22, 2015 at 7:45 pm in reply to: Considerations for a Life Alone #75693
    Olic
    Participant

    Hi Moongal,

    First, thank you for your thoughtful reply. I really appreciate it.

    I do feel like I have made a lot of progress – it’s been thrilling and sometimes scary but I am thankful to it. I think you are right regarding bitterness. People who are bitter mistake it as a wisdom and a strength when in reality it is just evidence that they can’t handle reality on reality’s terms and must protect themselves.

    I guess that I don’t feel like I am closing myself off but instead that I have just let the the feelings decay. I don’t rule it out, but I guess I feel like I completely ignore it now. There isn’t any kind of longing, loneliness, or sadness for the most part and I guess that’s what concerns me. It’s a very “meh” feeling.

    Still, I suppose that a big mistake is assuming something is certain forever. With everything that has changed with me in the past five years I can’t imagine what is going to change in the next five.

    Thanks again Moongal!

    January 10, 2014 at 7:30 am in reply to: Liking Oneself #48857
    Olic
    Participant

    Thank you both for your thoughtful replies!

    Mark:

    I really like the idea of a gratitude journal and will try that. Reflection and consideration is probably the order of the day. I currently practice zen meditation which helps me iron these things out and act mindfully towards myself and others afterwards.

    Lyla:

    The list you suggested is an excellent idea and will help me more proactively change the things that I view as an actual problem. Smiling is also a good idea – I could stand to be more outwards positive and try to make other people happy. I also need to expunge the guilt I feel towards others but I think that I’ll take a similar listing approach with that as well because I have observed that my feelings of guilt are often irrational.

    All the best to both of you!

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