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October 26, 2016 at 10:27 am #118962Ashleigh DParticipant
Hey Antia,
Thank you for your input. I never really thought about it that way; about our relationship being unconventional. It’s not that I am particularly attached to a conventional relationship, and I have always been fairly independent and have no problem being dominant or the bread winner. So this was an interesting perspective on how I should view our potential relationship. However, if I am being truly honest, I am not sure I possess the patience to be able to guide him along forever. I am afraid of becoming vindictive and resentful. I know I would have to alter my expectations, and if I an un-able to, then it isn’t fair to Jay. But you’ve given me food for thought.
Also, it really isn’t about Corey. I feel like I should have clarified a bit more in my post. While I am interested in him, I am very aware that it could just be a crush or infatuation that may shortly fade. I also could be looking for qualities Jay lacks in other men. Even if I walk away from Jay, I don’t think I would actively pursue a relationship right away (as Ninja said above, I need time). But it was nice to know that there are guys out there who are on the same maturity level as me, and I am unsure if that is what I crave right now.
I still need to sort out more of my feelings, so thank you for your thoughtful response!
October 25, 2016 at 4:53 pm #118910Ashleigh DParticipantDear Ninja,
Thank you for taking the time to reply, you had a very thoughtful response and I appreciate it. I had often thought that the anxiety around the break up revolved around the time spent in the relationship, and the fear of hurting him. But I also thinking that dragging it out, because I don’t know how to end it, is only going to cause problems down the road.
It’s nice to hear someone say I need a Man, I have often felt frustrated with Jay and think it to myself “I want to date a MAN!” and then I feel guilty and selfish for doing so. I know I deserve happiness, but I still can’t help but feel awful for hurting him.
But some of your points are really powerful, and what I needed to hear.
Thank you again!
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