N – good morning. You communicate very effectively, so don’t ever doubt that about yourself. First thing I did after reading the last two was to Google PMDD. Did someone diagnose you with that? The reason that I ask is because that is EXACTLY what I think is causing most of your strife!!!

One excerpt from my google search said:
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a severe, sometimes disabling extension of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Although regular PMS and PMDD both have physical and emotional symptoms, PMDD causes extreme mood shifts that can disrupt your work and damage your relationships. In PMDD, however, at least one of these emotional and behavioral symptoms stands out:
•Sadness or hopelessness
•Anxiety or tension
•Extreme moodiness
•Marked irritability or anger

I’m no doctor, but I would bet my bottom dollar that you should be telling your gynecologist (preferably) or your doctor to begin treating you for this immediately. In fact, I was going to suggest antidepressants before I even read about the PMDD…and it is the first treatment listed for it! I take wellbutrin XL, 300 mg a day…and it doesn’t make me happy…but it keeps me “level”, not suicidal, and it helps with the racing thoughts. I’ve tried to live without it, but I absolutely cannot. In addition, hormones are a major factor in a woman’s life and can totally control just about every physical and emotional thing in our bodies! My final thought is that if you can get the physical pain and symptoms under control, it will allow you to focus on the mental issues.

Maybe you already considered all of this or are taking drugs now, but if not – this could be the whole basis for your suffering.

I digress for the moment…to give you time to read and respond. I’d like to see where you’re at with all of this. (was that proper English??? I don’t think so. lol)

C