Dear Anita

Thank you for spending time replying with such long reply, I read it this morning and thinking that my relationship with parents could be the main reason of me constantly seeking love from external source, hence resulting in easily having crushes on people who treated me nicely. I constantly seeking for people to fill in my emotional needs, without knowing how to make myself happy at first.

Do you have any advice in overcoming this issue? By far I have tried solutions such as reading self help books, listening to Buddhist talks and making myself busy/ to be more socialize. Or is there a need to consult a therapist?

Dear Anita, happy new year to you too!

To reply with your questions:

1. We were discussing about whether if two person able to share the same dream, and he asked me if I have had someone appear in my dream before.

2. No there is nothing sexual between us at all. The lucid dream he shared was about his adventure , things like exploring a haunted house or encountering forest spirit. 

Dear Anita,

It’s been a while since we talk, I miss you despite not knowing you in real life and would like to share my story with you.

The first 3 months I moved to this new city, I’ve trying hard to get back with ex-boyfriend, eventually, he rejected me. I slowly moved on and later on develop a crush on a same-sex coworker. Having gay panic for the first time in my life, I spent the following 4 months trying to accept the fact that I’m a bisexual. It felt better after I came out to some close friends and if possible, I’m going to a pride parade in this city during this pride month.

Meanwhile, a significant amount of time has spent on self-discovery and improvement. I’ve signed up a gym, created more arts and made friends throughout the months. I slowly gained a sense of self, and practice self-love the best I can.

I still remained friends with my ex, we contact each other and meet-up occasionally, he slowly noticed my changes and starts to like me back. Up to this point, I have no longer love him romantically, though I still value our friendship. Tonight, he confessed to me he wanted to get back together, I rejected him gently and encouraged him to focus more on self-development. It felt strange when I’ve turned the table on him. Guess this is what love is: unpredictable and it usually doesn’t last forever. I feel bad for him, I can relate to his pain, it was what I experienced last year but my feeling towards him had changed after discovered my sexual orientation.

Dear anita

A month ago (a week after breakup) I asked him if he wants to get back together and he said no. He wanted to stay single for a while, while I have the same thought too, to stay single for self development purpose. But we remained contact as friend, and since the breakup I’ve noticed I’m improving myself mentally(I was depressed and had anxiety a lot back then, and now I’m comfortable with my new life in new city). The changes of my mind affects the dynamic of our relationship now. I’m more accepting and generally we get along well.

Dear Anita

Alright will take note to that, will try it if it happens tonight (hopefully not!)

Will keep you updated soon 🙂

Dear anita,

Yes, I miss closeness with other, I even CRAVE for it 🙁 But sometimes when I’m with someone for too long it felt exhausted and I wanted to be alone. So contradicting isn’t it?

But it will be ok as I’m heading back home this weekends (I’m just beside home country so can go back more often)

As you said, hope I’m able to endure the loneliness for now, and eventually new relationship with people will be formed.

Updates

Dear anita,

I’ve just moved to a new country and I’m starting a new job tomorrow. It seems like life is getting more exciting after leaving from home and starting a new life over here. I’m grateful to be able to find a room with cheaper rental and good environment.

It’s been 1 and half month since the break-up. I still miss my ex but I’m getting better in controlling my emotion. Recently I picked up a book “The Power of Now” and it really helps me in gaining insight into being in joy.