Thank you for replying, Mark.

It does help, but I still can’t help but feel like I’ve done something wrong, and I don’t know how to move forward.

I feel like there’s something I’ve not communicated but I can’t quite pinpoint what it is?

I’m sorry I’m not making much sense here

thank you, for taking the time to reply to everyone, always

Thank you both for the replies.

I’m trying to connect to people in person. I’m not in paid work but am volunteering. Whenever I chat to anyone it’s clear I’m quite nervous – it makes me worried people feel like they have to talk to me or do it out of pity. I’ve found the same thing Mark, and tend to ask a lot of questions. It’s when the questions are reversed I find myself stuck as I don’t have much to contribute to the conversation. The last few years of my life have been wrapped around anxiety recovery and family problems. I’m doing a little more with myself now – volunteering, a class once a week – but ultimately I don’t have much to talk about, and the conversation seems to come to a halt? & My mind constantly goes blank, which doesn’t help.

anita – I am prepared to move out and looking forward to it, but I can’t afford to just now. I’m volunteering in different places with the hope of gaining some work experience, and building confidence, to then move onto paid work so I can move.  I’m trying to build a life for myself, away from home, but it is small steps. Am I understanding correctly – you think that I’m focusing on him right now to avoid my home situation?

I feel stuck where I am, and am taking small but gradual steps to improve it. I’m not sure what much else I can do, and having some friends, even if they are online, feels helpful and a bit less lonely.

Hi anita,

Thank you – I’d been lurking the forums now and again, although not posting. It’s nice to talk to you again. I hope you’ve been doing ok?

I recognise mental illness isn’t a life sentence, and for me see my anxiety as something I’m learning to manage and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. I think he sees illnesses as a life sentence and sees himself rotten to the core.
I keep telling myself I’m not responsible for other people’s emotions, but it truly doesn’t seem like that is the case. My actions have an impact on other’s emotions – if I had a difficult day he would in turn, some way or another.

I went back to that post in regards to my mum. I think I meant it in how she can be quite judgemental, and also focuses more on other people’s lives so she can avoid her own problems. I’m not sure how to elaborate any more. She still does this and is still struggling with addiction sadly.

– norit

Ive stumbled upon a dilemma. I went to my first group therapy session, it was fine. The second,I got upset and had to take a moment outside. That’s ok.
But the kindness and support people were showing each other or myself made me cry even more. And when trying to calm down, trying to be gentle and understanding towards myself. That made me cry even more and I ended up leaving.

I’m not sure how to get past this crying. Its deseruptive to the group and im so focused on not crying I’m not listening to what’s being said.

And then in the long run I feel hopeless. What will I do once the group is over? I will receive no more help from my understanding. Im scared to be on my own. Them helping me is the only thing tthats kept me going.