Carlos,
I am going through the exact same things. Friends who u don’t connect with are amongst majority of the people in this world who don’t like to go on a “soul search” because they aren’t comfortable digging. They are blissfully happy being ignorant. You and I my friend are a minority. One of my friends told me that about 98% of the people in this world think that things happen to them. They think they are not responsible for things that happen in their lives. A higher power or a person or a situation dictates their life’s course. I also believe in a higher power but I think that power is inside of us. I cannot control others. Don’t get me wrong, this has been one of the hardest things I have been through in my life. The more time I spend with myself, the more isolated I feel. Its like the universe is making me spend time with myself (whether I like it or not) so that I can start loving myself.
My ex left me and my world crumbled. I couldn’t breathe. What I want to achieve from this journey is a better understanding of myself. My relationship failed due to both our insecurities. As much as I would like to tell myself that I would’ve grown and become secure if he gave me a chance, its not true. Only when he left me, I realized that I didn’t want to be that sorry girl who plays the victim. This didn’t just happen to me. Mine and his actions brought us to the point in our lives where we were awful to one another.
Why I am telling you this is because I started a forum on this site called “friends needed” and Matt gave me great insight on my situation. I urge u to read it.
Stay on this course of self discovery Carlos. U and I are bound to find happiness. True happiness not surface happiness. After this journey, who knows, we may find mates who will be exactly like us, who will truly be our soul mate. 🙂 for right now, I won’t date. Not even casually cause I know now that all I have been doing since I was 15 is go from one man to another looking to get “rescued”. That’s not fair to anyone. I miss my ex and right now even if I go on a date, I’ll do a direct comparison to him. So I am “staying off of that foot”
Carl I’ll check out the course above. Thank you

Inside of me and everyone…its the courage that helps us keep going in the midst of mental chaos.
God for me is everywhere….

Carlos
I am sorry I won’t be very helpful here cause I am a recovering loveoholic. All I want to tell is that you are not alone. Even if u feel alone right now, people like me are reading your story with tears rolling down their eyes and relating to u. I wish u good luck and strength. You have been through so much in life and you are still standing. In your own words you have mentioned that this man was great. If you take this time to heal and grow from all the awful events of your life, don’t you think you will find someone as amazing or more?
Someone on site said to me when I was shattered and broken a few weeks ago, everything happens for a reason. Maybe he was just in your life to make you realize that you have to start loving yourself. None of us know what the future holds.
Please keep your head up high and keep asking and reaching out for help. Start meditating. U are already growing. U are already on your way.
You will be in my prayers tonight.

Donnie,
I cried when I read your post. My god. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. I had break broken a couples of months ago by someone I thought I would spend my life with. This site has helped me a lot. There are many people who are going through similar things not only on this site but all over the world.

I am still hurt and miss him dearly but having distance from him and getting rid of everything we shared together, including pictures, has helped a little. I broke down this morning when I used the pan he bought for me to help me cook. Trust me, I have stopped cooking. Its been two months.

All I can say to you dear brother is that I am sending you all the strength and good wishes. It will take a long time to get over this but remember, you were true. You gave it your all. You were the best u can be in your relationship. Take pride in that.
I hope and wish that one day u can give yourself there love you gave her. It takes a very insecure person to do what she did.

Love
S

Caron,

I wanted write to you to let you know that I am praying for you and wish you strength. I am so sorry that in the time of your need your beloved have left you. Some people cannot deal with pain and sorrow and its OK. You probably don’t want to be with someone who leaves when things get rough. Isn’t one of the vows of a marriage for better for worst? Would you have ever left him if he got sick?

Please know that there are people in this world who wish you well. Please follow JD’s advise. As hard as meditation is, its the only thing that keeps me going.

Stay strong!
S

L,

I am sorry you are in pain. I have been there. well, not exactly but similar concept. I was in love not too long ago. End of June is when my ex broke my heart. I have been in constant pain since than but i have to tell you that its getting better. One of the reasons he broke it off was the fact that we didn’t get along. We fought constantly after a few months into the relationship as he was conservative and i am not. Plus cultural difference and lifestyle difference. I come from a background where i am taught to make things work. to fight for everything that is worth fighting for. I knew our differences were a big issue in our relationship but i tried my best to make it work. at the end, he said that he can’t do it anymore. he is exhausted. i was going to marry this man and grow old with him. we had made promises to never leave one another but at the end, he didn’t even have the decency to break up with me in person. he did it over the phone!

This is my background story but after talking to many good people on this site and talking to my therapist, i am in a better place. don’t get me wrong, i still cry at least once a day but it is a lot better than before. When this happened, i would cry every hour! and cry myself to sleep. This breakup has done so many amazing things for me. for once, it has taught me to look within. it has taught me to be kinder to myself. it has taught me to be compassionate and understanding. It has taught me that i have a learned pattern that i need to break to be ok. It has taught me to break the image i have in my head of a perfect life because nothing in this life is a grantee, which is what makes it worth living.

Trust me, i am still a work in progress but i can see some light in this darkness now. i have been meditating a lot. i started with 5 minutes at first but slowly i am getting to 15 minutes. i am also giving myself credit for the small things like 40 days of no contact with my ex. I am also volunteering for different causes that i am passionate about. i am laughing a lot. even if it a fake laughter, i am laughing cause there is something about smiling that makes the brain relax. I am walking and talking to myself. I am also reading positive blogs on this site from people who have gone through a lot of pain and came out on the other side.

i apologize if i went on and on and on but i know where you are coming from. i don’t have many friends either but i am meeting amazing people through this journey of mine. I wish you courage! and love!

S

M
As a woman of an ethnic background and having similar issues with my parents, I would say, they will come to terms with your choice when they see u happy. We underestimate the love our parents have for us. But the bigger issue here is not your family situation but the lack of passion you have for this girl. I hear that she loves tremendously but in your words above I diidn’t hear you voice the same. Its not fair to marry someone just because. I had my heart broken recently and when I look at my situation in a third person point of view, I see that its for the best. My ex loved me but, wasnt in love with me. He knew how much i loved him and he knew that he couodnt give me the same love.
I also like your girl told my ex that I will never be anyone after him and that he was my life. Guess what, 37 days later, I am healing. I miss him and I cry but it feels ok to be by myself. It feels good to know that I have another chance in life to find my best friend and love. The worst thing you can ever do to a person u love is not give them your all. Dont you think a woman who loves you so much deserves everything and more in life? I can tell u now after my experience that leaving me was the most lovable thing my ex has done for me.
Namaste