Hello Annie!

Well, this, in my opinion, is a very delicate situation where you have to look the deepest inside you and be true to yourself (this is key to being able to sort this out).
I think that this person in your life maybe is having trust issues regarding his past relationships (not meaning that he hasn’t moved on, in my opinion they are two different things) and therefore, causing this strange attitudes toward you. In example, the night before you went away, when he didn’t want to see you, maybe he was afraid of falling for you and then losing someone he loves again and getting hurt. This doesn’t precisely means that he doesn’t care for you, maybe he’s thinking better things about this new relationship. I would suggest trying to empathise with him and understanding where he’s coming from. Try talking this issue directly and clarifying things in a way full of love and understanding. If you’re thinking of having a serious relationship with him, better establish solid foundations based on communication rather than guessing his feelings and his vision of the relationship.

Be very careful with those “I fell for him” feelings. Sometimes we mask our need to be with someone just so we can fill our needs with sensations of false love, especially if you already had sex, because this creates a physical need, also masking the true love. This is where i would suggest that you be true to yourself in the sense of really being sure you want him because you truly love every aspect of him and want to share your life and not trying to satisfy one of your needs.

I hope this helps, really, I know how effd up this things get and I comprehend how you may be feeling. I’m sending you the biggest hug of all times and all of my strength!

Hey Julia. I can’t exactly say I understand the situation because I’ve barely worked and maybe I’m much younger than you, but I think I have been in contact with people with similar attitudes. What has worked for me when dealing with those passive criticism that seems full of hatred and makes us feel so bad, even worthless and clueless sometimes, is to pay really close attention to what he/she’s trying to say. I’ve discovered that between those passive comments or remarks made unto you, it’s clear what people want to convey, but our desire for things being told directly on our faces blinds us into believing we can’t see exactly what is going on. Maybe trying to separate our personal fears and emotions towards that one person from the actual content of his/her words will help you clarify what is needed of you.

Also empathy always helps a bit when trying to understand the attitudes from that person.

I hope I’m being clear enough :$

Anyways, I’m sending you a big, big warm hug and a big ear-to-ear smile! You have the strength to go on right within yourself n.n I admire you because I’ve never wanted to get a job just because small, personal fears, and the single fact that you have one is really worthy!