Hi Anita

It started without any apparent reason in 2011. One day I just had a panick attack sort of thing and I had no idea what was going on went to ER next day thinking I was having heartttack . I developed fear of fear and it continued of few days but my boyfriend was there with me to help and make me feel better.  So I was ok in few days but I didn’t get any answer what had exactly happened . Th ere was still a tiny fear of I might get those horrible feelings back.

And 2012 was bad , lost a friend in accident and my anxiety got triggered.

I went it that anxiety loop when I was constantly  trying to feel better but opposite was happening.  I was searching for a cure but was sinking deep and then I started taking things in my hand and did lots of research and read various books which made me aware of the disorder . Atleast I got an answer what it was  . Things started to get better but I had developed hypochondria and ocd which also got over in few months with acceptance  ans May be good karma.  A book that really help me understand anxiety is “At last a life “by Paul David.  You are doing a great job here by listening to all the people.  If you come across someone dealing with anxiety disorder ocd etc please recommend.  It will save their life lot of miseries.

Now I get anxious but those feelings never transcend to physical agony . Like it’s a normal healthy fear of somewhat  logical reason . I say somewhat because all fears are illogical but when in anxiety it feels so real .

I have sleepless night these days also but I joy not falling to sleep by reading or watching movie ealier not falling to sleep was also a fogger to my anxiety. You can say now it’s like I’m well versed with the phenomenon  so I’m not very scared of it .

Hi Anita

Thanks for your patient reply . I really wanted to talk to a neutral party who gives unbiased judgements.

I don’t know what’s there in store for me. There is anxiety for unknown at same time deep instict things will turn out good followed by May what ifs. I think I i should give myself sometime and focus on my career which is also not going anywhere.But with all these things in mind it’s very difficult to stop the mind from straying. Do know how to go about it.

Thank you Anita for your reply again.

Yes your are right, I don’t want to lose the possibility does that make me a awful human ?

But he knows my past relationships and how close I was with them so obviously I’m capable of loving and being intimate  he knows that.  But I just told him I generally don’t like being clingy just so that he gives me enough  space.  He was  trying since there were no major problem with me and my boyfriend.

And he as himself rejected so many women in past and some of them were beautiful so he knows when it doenst click it doesn’t .

But now I feel like a terrible person . I wish I wasn’t anxious  about future and on top my family and close friends fueling my fear .

Hi

Thank you again.  I’m very practical in life . The breakup caused more pain and suffering to my boyfriend than it caused to me . I was able to gather myself in few days and live my life fully . Ofcourse there are weak moments when I break down and it happens to him also . He still keep my  pictures and and keep looking it at he tells me .  I think I’m able to move on provided I feel right about a man  but with this new man I just don’t feel it in me and he is looking for a marriage  . What if i regret my impulsive decisions and spoil our lives.  It’s not like I would be breaking up if I dont feel right later because marriage makes things more complicated.

Certainly there is a tiny hope in me regarding my future with my boyfriend but I’m rational enough to kill it provided I meet a man who I will look forward spending my life.

Thank you so much for insight.

But I would like tell that he really wants to be  be with me and im sure he is not thinking about anybody else. It’s just that he has a very different relationship with this parents that he just can explain his feelings .

I’m not a kinda of a woman who will be in distress over a break up . Ofcourse its hurting me but most of time I’m ok and I can have fun and forget about him. And I’m trying very hard but It’s just not emotional but I’m physically not attracted to this new man. Otherwise I would have gone head i think so.

Thank you