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NikkiParticipant
Hello yes I am still sober! Almost 4 years now. As me and the whole āGā situation I broke things off with him on that level and we remain very good friends. I look back at the forum and canāt help but laugh a little at the way I was so confused about my feelings for him. Iāve learned with time that I never loved him or cared about him more than platonically and just felt lonely.
With that being said Iāve learned a lot about myself and was in another relationship 2 months after āGā and I stopped talking and thatās a whole forum in itself
NikkiParticipant2 year update. I broke things off with my ex, the one who I was going to marry. I had a bad drinking problem and he played a big part in that and now Iām happy and almost 2 years sober!
The other one, that I wrote this about, the one I had to cut off many times wouldnāt let me go. He would reach out all the time periodically like couple times a month or so, after my relationship ended him and I would briefly meet for hook ups like usual. Heād tell me things how he likes me or wanted to be with me but I look at actions more then words and I felt his actions said otherwise..
recently he confessed his love for me and said he wanted to marry me and for us to have kids. Talking about how heās adored me for 8 years and wants us to be together and heās scared to get hurt again and hopes that I really love him too and want to commit and be together because he has doubts?
hes a big drinker and thatās something I draw a boundary with but he thinks that I can help him cut back.. Ā Long story short, he was drinking that night and Iām unsure of if those were his real feelings or if he was just in a fantasy world because his actions now are mostly silence. We havenāt talked really in 4 days. When Iād be drunk I would be able to express what I felt deep down, so Iām not sure if he made this up or if he genuinely feels this way. I just feel sick to my stomach and sad because he couldāve just said all of that to get what he wanted.
Im trying to keep the āit is what it isā mindset but my mind keeps coming back to everything he said and looking at how heās been acting towards me.
NikkiParticipantHi Anita Iāve had this talk with a couple of girlfriends and they seem to think that Iām the one rejecting him and that he is feeling this way.. I feel youāre pretty acknowledged and could maybe spot the difference, so please feel free to tell me. This guy who I used to talk to about a previous relationship I was in was always good ears and gave me great advice.. he would try and hangout with me a lot and I would Ā dismiss it completely because I felt it wasnāt right. I moved up recently close to where he was and have been on and off with a current relationship Iām in now. He made me happy in other ways.. (TMI to say) so I wouldnāt want to get too serious right away because I didnāt feel an emotional attachment. He told me he wanted whatever I wanted and I told him I wasnāt sure if I was ready for anything serious.. he would seem like he was okay with it but at tHe same time he seemed like he would be really mean to me when Iād talk to him or when we talked about that topic.. Iād block him quite a bit off everything when he would make me upset and finally he did the same to me.. He still has me blocked on everything but iMessage where he will still call me and text me and Iām not sure why. I told him this before and he told me he didnāt want me getting upset if I see something I donāt like? I donāt get it because I donāt get jealous and he knows that.. he knows I have someone else too.. He just called me yesterday to see if I wanted to be with him for the weekend too so Iām unsure of his feelings for me I guess.. I thought he doesnāt care but Iām not sure, please help! Ā Iām trying to not play any games either or string him along so Iām not sure if I am either. I do really like him but need to just love myself first..
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