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Nikki

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  • in reply to: Complicated ā€œRelationshipsā€ #433242
    Nikki
    Participant

    Hello yes I am still sober! Almost 4 years now. As me and the whole ā€œGā€ situation I broke things off with him on that level and we remain very good friends. I look back at the forum and canā€™t help but laugh a little at the way I was so confused about my feelings for him. Iā€™ve learned with time that I never loved him or cared about him more than platonically and just felt lonely.

    With that being said Iā€™ve learned a lot about myself and was in another relationship 2 months after ā€œGā€ and I stopped talking and thatā€™s a whole forum in itself

    in reply to: Complicated ā€œRelationshipsā€ #394234
    Nikki
    Participant

    2 year update. I broke things off with my ex, the one who I was going to marry. I had a bad drinking problem and he played a big part in that and now Iā€™m happy and almost 2 years sober!

    The other one, that I wrote this about, the one I had to cut off many times wouldnā€™t let me go. He would reach out all the time periodically like couple times a month or so, after my relationship ended him and I would briefly meet for hook ups like usual. Heā€™d tell me things how he likes me or wanted to be with me but I look at actions more then words and I felt his actions said otherwise..

    recently he confessed his love for me and said he wanted to marry me and for us to have kids. Talking about how heā€™s adored me for 8 years and wants us to be together and heā€™s scared to get hurt again and hopes that I really love him too and want to commit and be together because he has doubts?

    hes a big drinker and thatā€™s something I draw a boundary with but he thinks that I can help him cut back.. Ā Long story short, he was drinking that night and Iā€™m unsure of if those were his real feelings or if he was just in a fantasy world because his actions now are mostly silence. We havenā€™t talked really in 4 days. When Iā€™d be drunk I would be able to express what I felt deep down, so Iā€™m not sure if he made this up or if he genuinely feels this way. I just feel sick to my stomach and sad because he couldā€™ve just said all of that to get what he wanted.

     

    Im trying to keep the ā€œit is what it isā€ mindset but my mind keeps coming back to everything he said and looking at how heā€™s been acting towards me.

     

    in reply to: Struggling to get over rejection #347796
    Nikki
    Participant

    Hi Anita Iā€™ve had this talk with a couple of girlfriends and they seem to think that Iā€™m the one rejecting him and that he is feeling this way.. I feel youā€™re pretty acknowledged and could maybe spot the difference, so please feel free to tell me. This guy who I used to talk to about a previous relationship I was in was always good ears and gave me great advice.. he would try and hangout with me a lot and I would Ā dismiss it completely because I felt it wasnā€™t right. I moved up recently close to where he was and have been on and off with a current relationship Iā€™m in now. He made me happy in other ways.. (TMI to say) so I wouldnā€™t want to get too serious right away because I didnā€™t feel an emotional attachment. He told me he wanted whatever I wanted and I told him I wasnā€™t sure if I was ready for anything serious.. he would seem like he was okay with it but at tHe same time he seemed like he would be really mean to me when Iā€™d talk to him or when we talked about that topic.. Iā€™d block him quite a bit off everything when he would make me upset and finally he did the same to me.. He still has me blocked on everything but iMessage where he will still call me and text me and Iā€™m not sure why. I told him this before and he told me he didnā€™t want me getting upset if I see something I donā€™t like? I donā€™t get it because I donā€™t get jealous and he knows that.. he knows I have someone else too.. He just called me yesterday to see if I wanted to be with him for the weekend too so Iā€™m unsure of his feelings for me I guess.. I thought he doesnā€™t care but Iā€™m not sure, please help! Ā Iā€™m trying to not play any games either or string him along so Iā€™m not sure if I am either. I do really like him but need to just love myself first..

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