Dear Kyniska,

Accept your mistakes and accept that losses might have been made. Most importantly believe that you don’t need to commit mistakes to know what makes you happy, and that you don’t need mistakes to define who you are. Believe that there will be a time where you will take heed before you commit anything, and you will be able to make the right choice.

Say it out loud till you can say it like you mean it and believe it:

I don’t need to make mistakes.
I would like to know what makes me happy.
I would like to choose happiness.

You don’t need to look objectively at yourself, that causes anxiety. Stop the observing and the judgments will soon stop. Then allow yourself to feel for things that actually make you feel good. Not what others tell you is good for you, or is right, or is best.

Take your time making decisions. Since you have being doing things against yourself, there is something in you that has lost trust on your own self. So recognize truth.

Say it out loud …

I would like to believe in truth.
I would like to trust myself.
I believe I can trust myself.

May relief come your way.

P.S You don’t have to say them with the I. For example, “Believe in trusting myself” “Can know what makes me happy” “Believe in not making mistakes”

• This reply was modified 10 years ago by Nida.

Ever consider moving to a place where no one knows you? This doesn’t mean you have to leave the country. It could be a place that you choose to go to secretly, like a group or meetup of some sort.

There, you could allow yourself to practice letting go and trying to be yourself. Some days you may feel more yourself, and other days you feel completely shut out. While you may want to have a place where you can have some alone time, also consider having a place where you can socialize, and make new friends. A place where you feel secure that no one you ever knew would find you.

Make new friends you can trust. They would be people who you can tell your story to, including the mistakes you do, and how you are making an effort to change.

Once you develop enough love for yourself and have enough friends who love the real you, it will be easier to face those who knew you differently. For starters, them seeing less of you is a change on its own, and they will be more ready to know a greater change has happened. Their reactions may or may not be expected. But when you are finally happy, no one can take it away from you, unless you let them. So who ever ends up being against your change, its up to them to get over it.

While discovering and unleashing yourself is a journey you alone can only take, you do not have to be alone.

May you have the courage, and relief come your way.