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Nick

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  • in reply to: 3 years BF left me coldly. #69773
    Nick
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    I made a point to create an account just to reply to this. I actually just found out about this site from my doctor, who recommended it today when I saw her seeking help for depression.

    It’s shocking how closely this story is to my own. About a week ago, my girlfriend of over 2 years left me because she said her feelings toward me have changed. She said that she no longer felt romance in the relationship and I have become more of a best friend to her than anything else. this was extremely shocking to me, because not even the week before she broke up with me she had told me that she is incredibly thankful for me and how I’m the best thing to ever happen to her. When I asked her why she would say this if it wasn’t true, she said she was just trying to tell me what I wanted to hear.

    Needless to say, I was devastated. I still am. Only after a couple of days I talked to her and she seemed like she was okay with her decision. We were best friends for 2 years before we dated, so I know her pretty well and I know she has a tenancy to hide her grief from everyone else. Still, I keep hoping that I’ll get a text or a call from her telling me she wants to work things out and that she values me and our relationship.

    I haven’t taken the breakup well. There are some days where I feel things are OK and I can handle it, but in the end it all devolves into me wishing I was with her, going over things I could’ve done differently, and thinking about what she is doing. A lot of the time I just sit there are cry, and not much else. I feel like there is a part of me missing, and how unfair it is that even though I made such a great effort, and I did everything right, I still have to suffer while she is seemingly fine without me. A lot of people tell me to focus on what makes me happy, work on myself, and not depend on others for my happiness. While I am doing my best, with working out, focusing on my schoolwork (I’m studying to be a doctor too!) and going out during the day, I’ve never been much of a loud, outgoing person, so I spend most of my nights alone, and I can’t help but think about her and how badly the loss hurts.

    I wish there was something I could tell you that would take the pain away. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on my worst enemy. All I can offer you is the fact that there is someone out there struggling with something exactly like this. That maybe, when you’re feeling alone and like you’ll never get through this, that someone, somewhere, is feeling the exact same thing. I know it won’t make it stop hurting. But maybe knowing someone is sharing in your suffering will help lessen the burden you’re feeling.

    Good luck, friend.

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