Thank you both very much for your responses, I’m sorry for only just getting back on here to say that!

That makes a lot of sense TeaK, thank you so much for your advice. I’ve been starting to appreciate in recent weeks how much other people’s negative responses can so often be about them and their own state of mind, however I hadn’t stopped to consider that the same applies to me! I’m not officially diagnosed but I relate to the symptoms of c-PTSD a lot and have looked into inner family systems as a form of therapy, which identifies that there are reactive parts in the brain which act as ‘protectors’ for past hurt selves.  As you suggest, I think quite often when I react to something in what feels like an over the top, extreme manner it does reflect a past trauma from childhood that I need to process. I’m definitely angry at my feelings being scoffed at and invalidated by my father and I agree that working on that anger would be helpful. I couldn’t even accept anger as a normal, healthy emotion until recently (I’d always associated it with fear and rage and not allowed myself to experience it) so it’s very much a new thing to explore and focus on.

Thank you for your insight Anita, this also makes a lot of sense. I visited my in-laws the other day for the first time in months and of course, in the moment it wasn’t a terrible experience. I think having had over a year of not having to do things like that I had built such visits up in my mind as being a terrible thing, when the reality is that it’s just a boring chore which I have to get used to sparing a couple of hours for now and again. When I look at the way my mother in law is I can see how a lot of the more irritating behaviour stems from extreme anxiety on her part, so it helps to look at it from that perspective but acknowledge that I can still largely have boundaries and not have to see her too often.