Free Moon,

I’m going to give a different opinion from Anita.

At one point in my marriage my husband and I were not connecting or intimate. (All relationships ebb and flow), however I could ‘feel’ my husband was going through the motions yet couldn’t put my finger on what was bugging me. I was feeling suspicious but had no proof. Until one night I went thru his phone that he accidentally left in the bedroom. I found texts from a female co worker about how they liked hanging out together, and my husband was looking to his Care Bear time – here name was Carrie…Made me sick to my stomach. Although he didnt have an ‘affair’ he was in the flirtatious initial stages of a new relationship with her…. Trust your gut. Always. WhenI don’t I regret it, my instinct – gut is always right. I’d hold your breath and stay calm, and talk to your boyfriend. If he loves you and cares about your feelings and how this is affecting you, he will modify his behaviour and stop the flirting and if his ‘friend’ cares about his happiness and wants him to be happy and secure with his relationships, she will gladly stop the flirting. If all is done in love then everyone walks away happy. But if she or he has alterior motives/hopes for the other then they will not change or will resist changing. It won’t matter that you are unhappy and anxiety – they are getting the payoff they want which is attention from the other. Have a gentle and calm loving talk about how YOU feel about the situation. Use ‘I’ phrases and see how he responds. Let him know it would make you feel better if the flirting stopped – he can still be friends but the flirting has to stop.

Good luck, Full Moon. Let us know how it works out. <3