My son is adopted and before we got him we spent seven years in the social service system. Our experience, what we saw time and time again – was that very young partner-less mothers would reject the idea of adoption because they adored the idea of having a dependent cuddly little being who loved them so much. By the time the children were toddlers their story changed. The responsibility was too much – they couldn’t have an independent life and they had no resources. Many were eager to give up the child but at this point adoption was very difficult and most went into the foster care system.

Mothers (or parents) that recognize that adoption is the best option for their baby’s future are courageous and unselfish. They are really heroes! This is what we told my son – it’s not that they didn’t want you , they wanted the best for you and sacrificed greatly for you to have it. Best to you – RD

• This reply was modified 11 years ago by Ray Dodd.