Hi Anita!

I’m trying. Every day is a step forward. It’s just that in lapse back to the good times. I read the other letters here in the forum, truly love and heartbreak are universal. Mind over matter as they say.

Thanks, Anita for your wisdom! I am praying for my emotional recovery, for the hurt and bitterness to disappear. All the best to you. I hope that both of us will be healed. I just want a personal meeting with him so I can understand why he let me go that easy.

I hope and pray that we can meet up and just talk. How do I do that?

Thanks Anita! I value your inputs. I will try to ask my psychiatrist why I’m suffering from this kind of behavior. I also need to know why I feel lost and why his loss is leaving me empty. Thanks for your patience I really appreciate it.

Thanks, Anita for your reply! Everybody who has met him with me especially my parents have noticed that he is “not loving” that’s why they don’t like him. He told me that our relationship just collapsed and its irreversible. I blame myself for that for not being understanding or accepting of what he can offer me at this time (because he said he is trying to improve). I am the eldest and only girl of 3 children, so somehow I was spoiled by my parents and brothers. So maybe I’m just expecting too much from him. I told him I made him my world. I drop everything that I’m doing for him. I leave the hospital, travel from manila to Maine (I’m not counting) but that’s because I love him. I defied my parents every time I go to Maine. My parents are very conservative and they don’t get the concept of divorce and of me going to Maine instead of him coming to manila. I relayed this to him and asked him if he doesn’t want to “sell” himself to me and my family. He said its either I take him as he is or I leave. This was in april. So in June when this kind of situation happened again about him not being “affectionate and attentive” that when I broke up with him. It’s difficult for me because he hasn’t taken my apology, no second chances and I really feel that he is a loss to me. It’s been 2 months now and I haven’t heard from him. It’s just so weird that we have all of a sudden become history. I hope he realized to forgive me, that if he felt I gave our relationship up easily, I regret that and I apologize for that and I hope he’ll give me the chance to be more understanding and accepting of who he is. Partly, I am reliever of this “no contact” rule because it makes me think clearer but unfortunately I am panicking because we are losing our connection very quickly. We are not even friends. I am torn between moving on and holding on. Then I will tell myself after that I will just have to let go and let God. Am I wrong? What else can I do?

Hi Anita!

I like him because he has this calming effect on me. He’s very patient maybe because of his military background. He is smart, kind, a good person, he can be charming if he wants to. He is very regimented which is the opposite of me. He can be funny. He doesn’t get angry. We have very interesting conversations….That drive was one of my greatest regrets, I could have talked too. I love him. I guess I hurt his ego by leaving. He was divorced twice.

I know I was very petty. But why didn’t he stop me or talked to me. The 4hr drive from his house to the airport was all silence except for my crying. I know it was my fault. When I got back to manila I texted and I apologized and I said I regret being impatient and giving our relationship up. That I love him and if he has still a space in my hear for me, I will just be waiting patiently. And he replied—he doesn’t take anyone back, he doesn’t believe in second chances and working things out because he thinks it’s going to happen again, and that I andrew to go on dates. I am taking all the blame, I said. I hope God gives me a miracle and him a second chance.

Hi, Anita!

I understand that I don’t have any control over him or on the situation. All this “no contact rule” I don’t think applies to him and me. I am doing my best to take my mind off him—I started yoga again. I am taking swimming lessons, I enrolled in a one on one spiritual direction course. I am also praying and hoping for a miracle. A miracle that will change his heart about me, that he will take me back and that we will both be healed of resentment and pride. The we be given a fresh start, clear understanding of what happened and what we learned form the relationship. All I wanted is a second chance. I pray the God and the universe will grant me this chance. I don’t want to lose hope.