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Jean

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  • in reply to: What to do when he says he needs to find himself #202943
    Jean
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    PS: He disappeared that night because he went to visit his fatherā€™s grave, and also went to his ex. She mailed him the stuff he had given her, and returned it personally. He told me he just wanted to mail one thing, but he ended up seeing her… I donā€™t know what that means. But he did tell me heā€™s not breaking up with me because he wants to leave me to get back with her. He said heā€™s leaving me for himself. Sigh..

    in reply to: What to do when he says he needs to find himself #202941
    Jean
    Participant

    Hello.

    My boyfriend just broke up with me last night and Iā€™m quite lost. Weā€™ve been dating for 6 months and a half, weā€™re neighbors, so the honeymoon phase faded out real quick. I thought we could work everything out. He and I walked at the same wavelengthā€”his interests were mine, we were great friends who so easily trusted each other when we started out our friendship because we just clicked. We had no issues on cheating, lying, heck, we never even had an argument where we had to shout at each other. I thought we would do fine. He was the one who made promises such as heā€™s sworn heā€™d never let me go. But how come he just did last night?

    The day before, we were all good. He was at work and he even called me at 1:43pm while we were texting, he told me ā€œI love you, and Iā€™m having lunch outside in a while.ā€ Then the night fell and he went out somewhere without telling me, which I found odd because he never did that and he always told me heā€™d tell me whenever heā€™d go somewhere else. He called, thatā€™s how I knew, so I asked him why and he said he didnā€™t want to be in their house. I just told him to not come home late because heā€™d find it hard to commute on the way home and for him to take care. When it was almost midnight, I texted him, asking him why he hasnā€™t come home yet, that itā€™s late. Then I called him… until 12:30am, I called him 7 times. He never picked any call up. At 1am, he texted that he was fine and that heā€™d come home a little later. I also texted him previously that I hoped he was safe, that I was worrying so much, and that I just wanted him to at least be home.

     

    The next day, at night, thatā€™s when he showed up at my front door and told me he wanted to break up because he needed to find himself. Itā€™s because he lost his father just 4 months ago, and that was also when my anxiety issue sparked up, that he didnā€™t get to grieve properly. Then his best friend of 15 years also just left him last month. Heā€™s often misunderstood by his friends at college, so heā€™s just starting to find new friends recently. Because of that, we hadnā€™t spent so much time together, along with how busy he was at his internship, that Iā€™d budge in with how he and I havenā€™t spent time together. Heā€™d say sorry and that he loves me and that weā€™d spend time after this week… but I guess thatā€™s not going to happen now because he broke up with me.

     

    I want to leave him be now, but a part of me wants to get us back together. A part of me still wants to love him and just naturally cares for him. What should I do? Do I wait for him? He told me he wanted to break up because he wanted to stop ā€œthinking about meā€, I probably felt like a responsibility or a burden… something that caged him in. But he said heā€™s not sure with how he feels for me, but he does know he wants to be alone and with his own person to find himself now. What do you all think?

     

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