Friend, you are clearly awesome, you’re pursuing a job you love and have achieved so many successes in your life! I say don’t give up on doing a job you love and ignore people who speak badly of you. I know it’s hard when others try to bring you down, don’t give them that power over you! Focus on the positives in your life and know that you’ve got what it takes to have an amazing life. 😀

LiveSimple, I’m a lot like you! My partner and I have very different communication styles and sometimes I find I want more from him that he will give me. I get miffed when I text him goodnight and he doesn’t text me goodnight back. If I text him a question, sometimes he won’t reply for hours and I start internally raging at him. But I recognize that I get this way because of how we approach technology; I am glued to my smartphone 24/7 and my partner sometimes leaves his in the car overnight without realizing it! The only way I found to somewhat solve the problem was to outright tell him: “hey, I really appreciate it when you get back to me in a timely manner, can you do more of that?” It’s positive reinforcement! But I also accept that some people are okay with a far less frequency of communication.

On the flip side of the coin, when I go home to visit my family I am waaaaay less concerned with being in touch with him. During a regular week we will text every night and see each other all weekend, but if I visit my parents I basically am unreachable because YAY FAMILY. Especially during travel it’s hard to keep up routines.

In work, as in the rest of life, I follow the motto “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything”. I thankfully work at an office with relatively little drama… or maybe there IS drama, I just don’t know about it because I refuse to participate in conversations that sound anything like gossip. Seriously, I will remove myself from the situation if that’s the case. No good comes from focusing on negativity or petty issues, so I do my best to make sure my own interactions with everyone are cordial and cheerful, and any criticism is professional and constructive.

My partner is similar as well, so I feel your pain. I think on our first date, the first thing he did was pre-emptively warn me/apologize over his jokes. I’m a very literal person and in the beginning of our relationship, the joking made me VERY hurt and frustrated. But over time I managed to get more used to it and there were a few reasons why. Firstly, he dishes out WAY meaner jokes to his friends than he does to me, so I know he’s holding back out of respect for my sensitivity. And when he does make jokes about me or teases me, it’s largely when we’re alone or just with our families (so in a “safe space” so to speak). So it’s a combination of me getting used to his personality and him changing his behaviour out of respect for my feelings. But trust me it’s still a struggle, I still have to issue him periodic reminders that it’s not a joke if I’m not laughing, and I still feel disrespected sometimes. I don’t have a solution because quite frankly I’m still afraid one day he might go too far and I’ll have to end things, but I hope it never comes to that.

Sadly, a lot of people (men especially) are not taught that the best way to show someone that you like them is plain old kindness and respect. I don’t find anything nice about being mocked or made victim of pranks, it’s rude and disrespectful. I’m continually boggled that we live in a world where being mean can be interpreted as anything other than being mean.

Lara, my heart aches for you. I wish I could give you some magical piece of advice that will make the pain go away but the truth is there isn’t, not when it comes to loving and losing. I’ve been there.

Years ago, I fell in love with my best friend after a year of us being inseparable. When I finally worked up the courage to tell him, he told me kindly but plainly that he was flattered but did not feel the same way. I was shattered, I had been convinced our friendship full of trust and laughter and shared values would translate to something more. What was worse, he was one of my housemates, so I had to see him every day, it was horrible to be in that “look but don’t touch” position. What got me through those tough times was a quote:

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.

Every cloud has its silver lining. Even our failures and stumbles and catastrophes bring us closer to understanding ourselves and what we want from life. I now look back on that love with fondness even though it wasn’t meant to be. Loving him brought me closer to who I really am and I wouldn’t trade the hours of heartache and crying for knowing what I know now.

Something I’ve started lately that gives me a little boost is saying thank you to the bus driver when I get off at my stop. It’s a little gesture that shows you appreciate their work, plus I always get a “you’re welcome” or “have a nice day” back!

Wow, these are all far beyond my own definition of easy! For me, “easy” = microwave a frozen meal. I have neither the patience or interest to cook, definitely a side effect of living on my own. 😛