Anita,
Thanks for your reply. I had been seeing a therapist, particularly when I was going through suicidal ideation. That’s gone now, but I also didn’t feel like I clicked with the therapist. I’d have anxiety over every appointment. A lot of my issues stem from being severely bullied in school and overly caring about what other people think. I am normally a very driven individual, but recently took a job as a band director in a very rural area. As a musician, it has started to kill my musical soul because there are no performance opportunities. The end of my long term relationship left me feeling abandoned and like something was wrong with me. So, I feel like a lot of people would judge me for seemingly giving up even though I’m young.