Hello everyone,

I don’t know if I am in the right forum.

But 2 days ago, I recently broke up with my boyfriend that I’ve been with for nearly 2 years. The first 6/9 months were the best times of my life. He has such a good heart, soul, very loyal and just committed to the relationship. As I was too.

I’m only 18 and he’s 20, I’m in University doing a very full demand course. The main problem that risen up in our relationship is that, I kept this relationship behind my parents back. For nearly 2 years they had no idea, I was with him. I finally told them that he liked me, they accepted it for a day but then later changed their minds. And it really messed up my heart and thinking whether I would risk lying to my parents again. Around when this was happening, my parents forced me to break up with him so I did (2 months before the acc break up) that breakup only ended for a day and I decided to keep it going.

Before my parents got involved, I had doubts already whether I wanted a future, and long term relationship with him. As I guessed we all think that relationships are perfect at the start right? As it was for me and him. But as the days,months passed… I felt somewhat trapped the arguments were every other night if not 3 days a week. As obviously I couldn’t see him as much, we basically FaceTimed and text and see each other once or twice a week. The arguments got to the point where every night I would just cry, and cry and I started hitting myself and physically thinking of hurting myself. He was a very self-conscious person, overjealous, and I guess controlling. He had a problem with me going to school as there were guys, and he had a problem when I started University as there were guys there too. So during the course of seeing his behaviour, I kind of adapted to acting the same as him. I gotten so bad to the point where I stormed inside his work, humiliated him as I saw his manager was a girl and the same age as him. We had arguments in public, where we were both shouting. What hurts as well, is within the length of our relationship, I can see and I knew he tried changing his over jealousy, and his controlling. But it just never really worked, but I knew he tried to change.

Dont get me wrong, I know all what I said above is all negative and wrong on his perspective but, I have never met such a genuine, kindhearted person, loyal. I’m saying this because, I knew he only looked at me, I knew I was the only girl he talked to. I was his only friend, as when we became official he never bothered getting or staying in touch with his own friends. And the main thing is I knew he would never do anything to hurt me for example he would never cheat.

Brekaing up with him finally, I guess logically I knew I made the right decision for my well-being. But the fact he only lives 5 mins away, hurts me. Because I knew he depended on me so much, that I’m struggling to think how he will cope now that I’m gone. And I’m struggling to pin point whether the future plans I made with him was forced or I actually felt it. It’s hard because the routine of texting him and FaceTiming every night and looking forward to the only day of the week I see him, is now gone. And it’s leading towards Christmas and a new year.

I don’t know if I made the right decision… and it’s hard for me as I don’t have the support at home from my parents.

Please reply, 🙁