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Marya

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  • June 25, 2017 at 7:19 pm #154980
    Marya
    Participant

    no offense, but it doesn’t seem like you’re very genuine in this relationship. your actions are incredibly dishonest, self-destructive, and more than likely contribute to your sense of worthlessness. i was cheated on and it restarted my self-mutilation, caused me to spend half my savings in therapy just to save my own life, and destroyed my worldview. you really don’t sound like you understand what you’re doing.

    you want to own optionality that you don’t deserve, because it comes at a cost to this man you claim to love (you don’t) he doesn’t know he’s paying.

    lose the house with the loyal man. it’s not that you don’t deserve loyalty, ever, it’s just that you probably don’t deserve HIS loyalty. i feel for you, honestly, as i have also been in your position — and i haven’t stopped hating myself, but i sure would hate myself more if i kept him around just to hurt him more.

    January 13, 2015 at 11:05 pm #71285
    Marya
    Participant

    Hi!

    Last year I was also in a LDR with an extremely passive-aggressive man who would turn off his phone and ignore me every single time we fought. It felt like being involuntarily placed into solitary confinement, as he would say I was “too emotional” to talk to right now.
    But the focus here is really her, and her silence – she is doing it for herself.

    My advice would be to end it before it gets serious. This is an extremely difficult behavior to change, and if you pull on the thread that inspired this behavior I’m confident you’ll find so many other pitfalls and issues. Of course, if you have the heart and spirit to pursue this, then I really admire you, but it can turn into a lot of questioning your own sanity and even blaming yourself for having hurt her… Even though she’s making the pain worse.

    The silent treatment is unacceptable, manipulative, and after my relationship, has become a non-negotiable dealbreaker for me.

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