Hi,

im new on this and don’t know how to ask my own questions on here.

but I’m hoping someone has some advice for me so I’ve had my heartbroken like really broken this time I thought I had experienced heartbreak with my ex years ago but this one has nothing on it, it truly took the light out of my life I was cold and bitter for sometime, I’ve managed to mask it to the outside world so I don’t seem “bothered” but I really am, it eats me up, so let me explain…

So I’m 21 and he was 20, we met through a mutual friend and just got on straight away like proper got on and I had never ever looked at him in a sexual way we was always just friends he would stay at my flat and sleep on my sofa I would sleep on my bedroom we never overstept the friend line, we was friends for 2 years before anything ever happened with us. until one night he knocked on my bedroom door to smoke another joint (please don’t judge me lol) well that’s what I thought he wanted so I got up came out my room made a drink looked in the living room and he wasn’t there… he was tucked up in my bed just sitting there I was a bit taken back I didn’t really know how to take it anyways one thing lead to another and it was like the best sex ever in my life we both agreed about it in the morning and everything just seemed like it was meant to be for the next couple of week he was round nearly every night I gave him a key to my flat it got serious and we was both enjoying it we was going out for dates all the time we have the same friends and I got on really well with all his friends it was like it was just meant to be, and then like all of a sudden it just went cold really cold he wouldn’t call me like he would or text me he would only come round to come pick stuff up every now and then, and I just didn’t know what to do so I asked for my key back he came gave it back took majority of his clothes and stuff and literally that was it. Done. Boom. End. And it hurt me so bad so so bad like I love my own company but the thought of not being with him and laughing with him and just the general things we used to do has completely took hold of my life I think about it daily, I can’t listen to certain songs or go certain places or even wear some bloody clothes I have cause it just reminds me of him and I feel like a someone’s just ripped my heart out all over again… anyways time went on I slowly started to forget and the next thing is he is in a full blown relationship with some girl who is the complete opposite to me I am blonde dark eyes thick curvy body quite shy but can be loud, and she is skinny ginger from what I heard quite out spoken loves to be in amongst drama and it’s really shocked me not only did he leave me but he left me for a loud mouth down grade that’s sounds so shallow and childish of me which it is but this is how it makes me I revert to being 14 again and I try to control it but I end up getting drunk and because we have the same friends I just blurt it all out to them so no doubt it gets back to him, it’s been months now like nearly coming up a year and I’m still not over it, me and my friend was at the pub the other day and he turnt up, I thought I was going to faint I went all dizzy couldn’t talk it completely took my breath away and not in a good way I saw him and it just reminded me of all the fun we had and the way he would smile at me and just them little things.

sorry it feels really good to get that off my chest sorry for the huge paragraphs.

god bless

xoxoxo