“M” probably does not understand that leaving her options open “for the future” is killing you, and since she is drowning in her own sorrows, she can’t see that you are waiting, hoping and hurting on the inside. Who knows how long you’ll wait, how many days, months, or even years.

I’m a woman, and I did not understand how dreadful it is to make someone who likes you wait on you (for god knows how long), because it seemed better to just “be friends” and be all nice about it, especially if I cared about the man, than just to outright say No and reject him and see his heart break right in front of me. But now I know that it’s selfish to not say no, to not let go of a man I care about, to not give that man the opportunity to look for someone else. He deserves that chance at love, and you do too.

And I also didn’t understand how terrible the “wait” period was, until a longtime friend left this hateful message, and then she ignored my existence. Even after I apologized to her, I waited and waited for her response, nothing. So after a week I was through with waiting, I decided to end the friendship with her, wrote her a final message, and continued on with my life.

It was liberating to realize that you don’t have to wait for someone to respond to you, as if they’re the only ones who have the power to keep you around or cut ties with you. You have those options as well, to either wait or to liberate yourself. But that option is up to you.