Thanks Pickles. That does help. I have days where I’m accepting of it and moving on but other days I’m just crippled with it. We argued a few days ago because I took him off my Facebook as I don’t want to see him adding other people etc and he got mad and deleted all pics of me etc which really hurt. He says he regrets that and he overreacted. I told him I want him back he says a part of him wants that as well and he does regret the way he has treated me and the things he’s done. Then he said right now he doesn’t want it he just needs to be by himself especially after the way he has treated me. If he leaves it too late then that’s his problem. Now I feel like I’m hanging on to that little bit of hope when really it’s just a lot of rubbish

Hi Anita.

I mean for the first year he was affectionate, always showing effort, spending lots of time with me and we had fun. Over the last few months he has spent less time with me, even when we’re walking somewhere he’s either charging ahead or on his phone walking behind me. Hardly texting me anymore. We went out with another couple recently and he just sat on his phone the whole time sorting out his phone bill which was really rude. He’d sit on the other couch away from me when we’d watch a film etc. It really went downhill the night before my birthday when he asked me to meet him for drinks and dinner as he was out with friends during the day but then just never text me back and went out with them all night.

He just stopped interest like he stopped caring about me like he didn’t want to be around me. That’s why I’m finding it hard when he says he tried but I don’t see that he did in the way he was treating me. He says he sees the way he has treated me and that’s why he’s had to do, that I deserve better.

Hi Anita. A few months ago I just started to feel lack of effort. He’s not a very emotional guy as it is and I knew that from thus beginning but he has just started caring less. Not getting texts until lunchtime asking how work is. He started spending less time with me. I know he works a lot but he even when he was here he would just fall asleep sometimes or only ask me to do something on the day where he knew I didn’t have plans. Would never stay 2 nights in a row. Like I was only part time to him. Never much of a gentleman these days. I sat him down a couple of times and asked if he was happy and that I wasn’t  as I felt no effort but he always said he was and he would. No arguments, we were never horrible or nasty to eachother. He said recently it just feels like we just get by with eachother and doesn’t see anything behind it.

Thank you so much for your replies. It really means a lot. We hardly argued throughout the relationship but I think ultimately he’s been pulling away for months and I’ve felt it and been so miserable. I told him everything I felt and that I wanted to sort things but he just said he doesn’t want to keep trying and cause more hurt. He jay doesn’t think there’s anything behind us anymore like their used to be and we struggle to talk about anything interesting recently which I agree with because I guess I have been so down and not had much to say but only because of the way he was treating me. We didn’t leave it on a bad note he has said he doesn’t want anyone else right now and doesn’t even want to try just needs  time to think about shit maybe I don’t think this was a hard decision for him but it was. I left it at that but this morning he added this girl on Facebook who he had been on a date with before me and I totally lost it. Told him to go to hell and wish I had never met him and deleted him off my Facebook. I feel awful for saying that but I was so angry and hurt and now wondering if he’s been a back in touch with her for a while.

I do agree with the comments, I feel like I did need him to complete me in some way and that’s why I am so devastated and I realise that is not right. I’m so upset and feel like I’m never going go move forward and meet the right person.