hi Omar,
well I think you are getting addicted to that girl.you got involved with her to fill the empty space that was developed in your life when you had divorce.what started as a sexual adventure,gradually changed in to a need.may be you think of her as some one,who is very close to you,understands you,and you feel comfortable with her.what i think is,you don’t want to be in a relationship with her,may be because of the past experiences of your marriage, or your are yet not ready for a commitment,because commitments and serious relationship come with responsibilities. but when you see your self being avoided,or when you see that she is not giving you any attentions,you get insecure.insecurity arises only when we have a fear of loosing something.but you both are not in a relationship,so there is a possibility,that some day she might move with some body else because she is not bound with you.what you gonna do then?there is no definition or strict parameters to decide whether you are in love with some one or not.may be you are falling in love with her,but not able see it because of what all you had been through or may be you are not willing to take responsibilities of a serious relationship.

My advise to you ask her,what exactly she feels for you?does she love you?or she is just happy with what ever is going on between you and her?if she says she loves you,then I think its is time for you to decide what is to be done next?and then be honest to your self and to her. try to evaluate what position does she hold in your life?and try to find out in,if its love,or friendship or just some kind of physical attraction.whatever you decide,just think about your present and future,just forget you past now.may be you love her,but not able to feel it because of your past experiences and by the time you realize its already late.

In case if she says no she dose not love you,and is just happy with what ever going on and happy to carry on like this as long as she can,then in that case don’t make your self emotionally dependent on her,becuz she might be gone someday and you will be left alone. In fact If in near future,if you see that are falling for her,but she is just happy to keep it in the same way,as it has been going on,then in that case,i would advise to distant your self from her,because in future when she will be gone,then it will be very tough for you to deal with it.

All the best, 🙂

see,i think your situation is some what similar to mine.my ex girlfriend did something once,then made promises that she wont do that ever again,and then did that again and again.I forgave her with a hope that she wont do that again,but she did.ultimately I found my self as a victim of the love i had for her.there is nothing worse then seeing your self being humiliated for no reasons.Its better being alone.rather than being abused on the name of love.now when I am not with my ex girlfriend,i often ask myself a question..”how did i let that happen to me..??

you have written that your guy has abused you 4 times in the past 6 months and he has been drinking despite of repeated promises.so now it is the time for you to decide,but before taking any decision just evaluate every thing,whether there is any scope/hope of improvement??because post break up consequences are very hard to deal with.and even if you stay with him…will you be able to accept him with all those things?will you be able to love him and,respect him after being treated like this?..so think very carefully and just decide for your self.
Tc

Hi Miffin

See,its good to be possessive in a relation,because if you don’t show any kind of possessiveness then there is a possibility that the other person might start feeling that my partner dose not care.but over possessiveness is harmful.no body wants to prove himself/herself again and again.no body wants to stand on toes all the time.we all our humans,so apart from being in a relation,we all have our lives too.some space has to be there,where a person can maintain his/her Individuality and the problem arises,when there is a conflict between the two(own life and life with the partner).Initially may be the signs are not visible,but ultimately it comes out and by the time we realize it,its too late.

you need to ask your self that why do you find it so difficult to trust him???had there been any Instances when he cheated on you?if yes then your behaviour of being insecure makes some sense.but if no,then i don’t see any reason to get jealous or to feel insecurity.you need to maintain some space between him and you so that you both can live your Individual lives as well.respect his individuality and let him be what he his. don’t ask him to prove his love or his loyalty for you again and again.

Its really important in any relationship to let the other person miss you.If you make your self available for your partner round the clock,then I wont say its bad,but the other person should also feel your absence at times,because then only your partner can realize the importance of your Presence.

All the best!!