Hi sloppy_dreams!

I don’t think this is a small problem, nor do I believe you’re abnormal, because I have experienced this as well. I ALWAYS used to compare myself to others. The big thing for me was social media. Social media had created this idea in my head that whatever that person was posting about was factual and true, when in reality, its not! People are only going to show and emit whatever they want you to see, not what they’re actually feeling and what their life is actually like.

How did I over come this? I went to therapy too. I for for another reason though- the sudden death of my mother. While in therapy though, I brought up my comparison issue and heres what my therapist suggested:

First he suggested to cut out social media. This eliminated me comparing myself to everyone else and let me focus on self growth. This also cut out that instant praise we get when someone follows, likes, or whatever it may be. Now, I know you’re dilemma isn’t social media here, but what if you could try this in your class? Instead of focusing so much on other peoples praise, why not try praising yourself when you know you did a good job. Engage in positive self talk. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself.

I graduated from PennState with my Bachelors of Science in Psychology just 3 months ago, so believe me when I tell you; seeking praise is normal! We like to know we’re doing a good job from others- it keeps us motivated! But i also know this, If you can validate your work and a positive feeling through positive self talk and personal care, you won’t depend on others opinions and praise because you’ll already know that deep down!

I really suggest you practice some self care; it really helped me in my journey. You could look into mindfulness, meditation practice, and over health care. This is what I did, and also how I make a living and help other. Please post again if you’d like further input (:

-Cara. Mindful mentality.com

Hi Holly,

I’m new to Tiny Buddha, and I too feel as though it’s a great, judgement free zone!

I thought your post was a great first forum for me to part-take in because I can relate to losing someone recently; I lost my other suddenly at the age of 21 just over a year ago. I’m just now beginning to heal, although I admit it’s a slow process that has taken a lot of time. It was just today while sitting out at her grave, with the sun beating down on me, that I had realized I’m just beginning my self care journey.

It’s been a rough road for me as well, as I have  had experience with disease and re-occuring deaths in my family ever since the age of 10.  Self care is so important, and that I think sometimes, as a society, we’ve forgotten just how important taking care of our mental state is! I recently graduated from PennState with my Bachelors of Science in Psychology just so when I graduated, I would be able to help those who wanted help practicing self care and self development.

I’m very excited to continue posting on Tiny Buddha to helpfully give seeking folks some insight into the experiences and knowledge I’ve gained throughout my life so far!

-Cara. Mindfulmentality.com