Hi Annie and welcome to TinyBuddha. First of all, thank you for this, I’m just glad someone does:

>P.S. opposites attract. When I was super confident, loud, and out going I met my recent partner who was shy, quiet, and cool. He is an introvert. I love introverts.

Please don’t take this the wrong way but our personalities are kind of ingrained in us – we cannot often change that (powerful events that happen to us might but it can happen, you can’t make them happen). So if being impulsive is a part of your personality, I’m sorry but you can’t change that – the best you can probably do is learn to accept and love that about yourself.

But you said that you were quiet and reserved so you are probably an introvert yourself. This had happened to me a while ago – I had gotten really impulsive and I’d start arguing with people and then end up feeling bad about it, over-analyzing it over and over again in my head until it drove me crazy.

The way I changed that was by being aware of myself, like really aware, constantly examining myself i.e. how I was standing (my posture which can play a really huge part in how we’re feeling), what I was saying, what amount of stress/anxiety was I under, etc. Once you can learn to do that, you can learn to analyse when you are getting impulsive and keep it under check.

Hope it helps.

I kinda have a similar problem but I feel the regret after I have purchased something. When I’m uncertain about buying something or when I’m totally certain but someone tells me otherwise, I just can’t get over the guilt. For instance, I joined a training course at the beginning of the year and when I did, I felt like I paid a fair price for the courses that I opted for. I started my classes and one of the guys there told me how his friend paid a lot less for a similar course (similar, not the same). Since then, I haven’t been over the guilt and I even called the company yesterday to demand a refund only to be told that the company has a no-refund policy! 🙁

When I try thinking about why I feel the regret, it is usually because I end up feeling wronged, as if someone blatantly cheated/robbed me and hurt my self-esteem/ego and how I couldn’t do anything about it. It can happen for things ranging from petty prices to costlier stuff.

So just know that you are not alone in your misery.

Funny that I should find this post when I did because I went through something similar about two days ago. Thank you for posting this.

It’s pretty early in the morning but I just couldn’t resist logging in and posting a reply. Forgive me if I start rambling because my brain hasn’t started running at full power yet.

I hadn’t applied to any jobs in the past year when some of my friends/peers have already found jobs and have started working. I just felt that I should wait for the right thing to come along. So when I saw this ad on a job seeking website, I got excited and instantly applied for it. The job just felt perfect for my abilities, my background and my experience in the field. It was my first job application ever and I didn’t know what to expect.

I got an email saying that I will be contacted by phone and would have to go through a telephonic interview. And so I waited for them to call me.

When I did receive the call (I believe it was the boss himself who called me because it was a small/medium-sized start-up, exactly the kind of place that I wanted my first job to be), I got nervous. I tend to stammer when I get nervous (I’ve had speech issues ever since I was a child and because of that, I don’t usually talk on the phone much even with people I’m comfortable talking to. And that made me more nervous) and even though it has almost gone away over the years, I was too focussed on trying not to stammer than what I was supposed to talk about. So instead of telling him what my strengths are and how I could benefit his company, I went on to blabber about meaningless crap. I answered casual questions with more content (like what my hobbies are? when I was asked to talk about my family, etc.) than the professional, work-related questions. He mentioned some “red flags” in my profile that I could have easily turned around to my advantage but I sort of fixated on the fact that he saw them as negatives when they really should have been positives. I believe a lot of blank spaces and miscommunication happened as well which sort of ruined it for me. So by the time the call ended, I ended up feeling like he didn’t get to know who I was the faintest bit and the call was like a random call with a stranger, sort of like when you call customer support, a one-time call. It sucked.

After that horrible day ended, I took a step back and re-analyzed my situation. It turns out that I didn’t really want to take a job for at least the next half year and hence, was trying to avoid the job anyway. So I think it turned out in my favor after all.

For you, I think you can try the same – take a step back and from a third person’s point of view, analyze what went well and what didn’t. Try to find out why the job was your dream job so you can find more offers like the one. Also, make sure that you are absolutely ready to take the job. Lastly, failures happen so if it does happen, know that there’s another job waiting for you to take it (think practically, the job wasn’t the last job posting of its kind in the world, right? It can’t be).

Do your best and happy job hunting. 🙂