I’m not sure if ‘stuck’ is the right word but I hate my life experience and I don’t know how to change it. I feel like my future is going to suck no matter what I do. Helpless and powerless seem like a better description than ‘stuck’.
I’m 60 years old, unemployed and live in my girlfriend’s basement. I help her run her housecleaning business but I’m not doing anything for myself and MY life is going nowhere. I have electronics projects that sit unfinished because I can’t concentrate on them long enough to make any progress. I graduated last spring with two solar degrees and I wanted to go back to school last fall but couldn’t find the time to study math because of her projects. My girlfriend is self-centered and her life is like a vortex that whirls around her.
I know I need to step out of her vortex to make a change but I’m certain that if I leave here I’ll be going back to live in my truck again. After doing that for several years during the Great Recession, I’m not thrilled about ever doing it again. I have no close personal friends, am not involved with the community and no longer attend church. I feel like my purpose in life now is to share my skills and help others; I like the idea of adding value to other people because I have a lot of talents but have no clue how to connect and get started.
I understand why some people commit suicide; it’s not that they actually want to die, it’s because their life sucks so bad that they will do anything to make it stop.
Miles