Hey, how are you. I was just reading this and I realized I feel so related to what you are saying. But I just wanted to say that, yes, although we sometimes do not find the motivation to pray, or the feeling of been comfortable with the idea of God, I think we can still try, I mean, for example when we were kids, the math teacher put us to do a lot of math exercises and we just didn’t want to do them because we found them incredibly difficult, well, but after a while we just realized that the practice gave us power, the power to understand those exercises and be better at math. Well, I think praying, or starting a relationship with God is just like that. You should start practicing, meditating, not because you feel that you want to do it, because feelings are so ephemeral, but because you know that maybe if you start trying, you’ll reach pass that stage of been embarrased about your relationship with God.  I think we should just start by laying on the floor and telling him, here I am, take me as I am, help me pray, help me build this relationship with you. Sometimes negativity can ruin everything, but if you just abandon yourself to the chance of starting a communication, you will reach it at some point. And you’ll see that math exercises  can be quite easy if you practice enough. Star by a simple pray, and then maybe, you’ll see… Hope you open your heart, good luck. And have peace.