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December 25, 2017 at 10:18 am #183565MichelleParticipant
Thank u everyone for the insight. Iāve been so busy Iļø havenāt been on here. So itās been a few weeks now and Iļø couldnāt be happier. Iļø see things so clearly now and Iļø truly believe everything happens for a reason. Me and my ex did not get back together. We do still talk and will remain friends. Heās a great guy and Iām thankful for his help and guidance. Iļø think now looking back, my relapse was his excuse to break things off. There were little signs Iļø ignored that were telling me the feelings were changing. Iām completely at peace with everything. Iām still in the same town he brought me but Iām staying with my mom and my 15 year old son (he has been staying with my mom for the last 2 years for school). Itās a blessing that Iļø can be here with my mom bcuz the day that my ex boyfriend drove 5 hours to pick me up, my mom was at the hospital getting a biopsy on a lump in her breast. About a week later we got the results that it was cancer. She had surgery October 30 to remove the lumps. She starts radiation next month. Thatās what I mean when Iļø say everything happens for a reason. Had he not came to bring me here, things would just be different. So Iāve had a wonderful time exploring this little city that Iļø left so many years ago. Iām so free and my opportunities are endless and everyone is on good terms. Iām also still clean. Happy holidays.
December 12, 2017 at 9:26 am #181765MichelleParticipantIļø appreciate you insight. When Iļø mention the conversation between my mom and Iļø, Iļø think that Iļø was trying to explain that Iļø vent to my mom but Iļø also donāt leave out little details that could be significant to the situation. My mom knows him and she thinks he is a wonderful, generous man. But to be so hateful towards a person you say that you love and so easily drop them when something doesnāt go as planned. Maybe itās not harsh. Iļø feel that this is all part of the bigger plan. Iām not angry with his decision for me to leave but the way he did it. Yesterday he left the house immediately after our talk and said he would be gone for the day and Iļø better be gone when he gets back at 5. So Iļø grabbed a few changes of clothes and necessities and left. Iļø text him telling him Iām sorry for everything and thanked him for his generosity and let him know that Iļø couldnāt get all of my things because Iļø didnāt have boxes or time to move everything. Iļø also assured him that Iļø wasnāt trying to get him to change his mind or drag things out. It was all just too much for one day. His reply was that he would pack it for me so Iļø told him to do what he needed to do to be happy. Iām not trying to make him out to be the bad guy but and Iām definitely not saying that what Iļø did was ok. But a week ago he was raving about how well Iļø did and he was surprised how easy my detox had been. Iļø guess Iļø just feel like when someone commits to something, they should follow through and in this case, at least make sure the person gets back to where you got them from. Not just tell them to get out and not return texts or phone calls. Iām just staying positive and working on myself. Iām giving him his space to do whatever he needs to do. Iļø also want to add that he has a history of drug abuse himself so he knows how these things go. We take it day by day.
December 12, 2017 at 8:00 am #181749MichelleParticipantAnita,
thank u for replying. Iļø think you are right. Iām pretty hurt about the situaion. Iļø know this all just happened yesterday and Iām trying to process it. Iļø feel like he is being a bit harsh about the situation on my end. Mostly because he wonāt even talk to me or return texts. Also Iļø understand that Iļø am responsible for myself but to commit to moving someone 5 hours away into your home, telling them that we will work through whatever issues come up, and then just giving up on them when one major issue happens. Iļø donāt know. He is a pretty aware person. Iļø have talked to my mom a lot about my relationship with him since Iļø moved here and she feels like he tries to āplay godā. Iļø donāt want to speak bad about him as he has helped me a lot and Iļø care for him but sometimes Iļø feel like he does the things he does to look good in the eye of other people and to be about to say āyou wouldnāt be here or have this if it werenāt for meā. Iām not beating myself up over the relapse and Iām not goin to use again. Ā Iļø just want to understand things better.
December 11, 2017 at 4:40 pm #181655MichelleParticipantYou are right. Iļø am goin to be fine. Iām struggling with the fact that Iļø could have carried on like it never happened. But besides the fact that Iām an honest person Iām trying learn to trust people and communicate my feelings and needs. The more Iļø think about it the more Iļø think that it might be a jealousy thing. When we were talking he just looked at me until Iļø told him who Iļø got it from. And while he was struggling for words he kinda mentions āu two sneaking aroundā. Not the exact words but along those lines. Or u could be right, a personal issue. Thank u for replying.
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