Good morning Hannah and friends,
Hannah, I’m so happy to hear that you are reaching out for help! You are making a great first step in the right direction by communicating to others about your over-eating. One of the things that helped me on my path to break the binge eating habit was communication. I told everyone I was close to- friends, family, coworkers- and anyone relevant (mostly wait staff at restaurants, before they can up-sell those specials!) that I was changing my eating habits to be more healthy. Telling those around me gave me something invaluable: accountability. It is very difficult to go back into old habits if you value your own word and want to uphold your own commitments. Five years later, my cultural (Italian) relationship with food is still intact and thriving, yet my friends know me as a wellness resource! Trust me- you can do this! Here are some of my tips:

I second Inky, first and foremost, about finding a new fix. I took up reading manga and watching kdrama, which lead me into a whole new world of cultural appreciation and creative thinking! Whatever your fix is, just make sure it doesn’t involve food and that it satisfies your soul instead of merely passing time. For example, when reading manga, I scheme up stories and ideas for my own writing. It’s inspiring! When watching kdrama, I try to learn part of the language, and if it’s a historical drama, I read about the history in my spare time to follow the show better and learn too!

If you feel hungry before bed and can’t sleep, have a glass of coconut water! (Make sure the ingredient label lists ONE thing: coconut water!) It’s 40-50 calories a serving, delicious and satisfying to sweet tooth cravings, and great for your skin! You’ll wake up hydrated too. 🙂

For social occasions, always research the menu before eating out. Look up calories for anything you want to eat, and choose whatever is healthiest. Write this down. When you get there, don’t look at a menu AT ALL. Order what you wrote down. Or better yet, ask for a salad without dressing and grilled chicken or steak. Another trick is to ask for a box WITH your meal and pack up half BEFORE you even eat. Yay, lunch for tomorrow!

Always keep a healthy snack (almonds, apple, grapes, etc.) on hand. You can safely keep almonds or walnuts in your car or purse. That way, if you’re tempted by fast food while out and about, eat those FIRST and drink some water. Are you still hungry enough to eat fast food now, which will make you feel sick and disappointed later? Nope, probably not! The trick, in the beginning, is to tell yourself you can have the junk AFTER you eat the healthy stuff- and 99% of the time, you will be full on the health food and change your mind about wanting junk. This tip is especially helpful for social gatherings (party at friend’s house, movie theater, etc.).

Don’t drink your calories! (Coconut water excepted of course hehe!) Water (add fresh fruit to flavor if necessary), black coffee, plain tea. If you NEED flavor, use a splash of vanilla almond or soy milk- it adds the vanilla taste, plus the texture of those milks is very creamy and they are naturally lower sugar/calorie than cow milk. 🙂

The rule of 5: Start reading EVERY nutrition label! If it has more than 5 ingredients, DON’T eat it! It’s over-processed. Nothing whole and fresh needs more than 5 ingredients. Expanding on that, when you put together a meal, limit yourself to 5 items. (e.g. Salad and chicken- chicken is 1, lettuce is 1, olive oil for dressing is 1, radish on salad is 1, garlic seasoning to flavor chicken is 1, this equals 5 ingredients for the meal; another 5-ingredient healthy example is a taco salad: lettuce, rice, lean ground beef, avocado, hot sauce). This trick simplifies meal time and adds creativity to cooking.

Lastly, start exercising! Even if you just walk a bit, try to move continuously for at least 25 minutes a day. You will love yourself for it and your stress levels will go down. 🙂

Best of luck! Stay strong and have confidence, because YOU CAN DO IT! We are all cheering for you Hannah! 🙂

I have a few thoughts on this, as a very dedicated dog mom and as someone who has come out of an abusive relationship.

First: It’s phenomenal, in all the best ways, that you recognize you have been irresponsible with your dog and his lack of training. You definitely made a big mistake trying to introduce an untrained dog (predator) to a chicken (FOOD!!). Dogs need to be trained very slowly and carefully, over time, and tested multiple times in safe situations before being allowed to enter a situation that could result in harm to either them or anyone/thing else. It was way too soon for the chicken test, but, you have recognized that mistake and you are ABSOLUTELY doing the right thing by consulting a professional trainer. 🙂 You are NOT wrong to keep your dog! You haven’t been a great owner for him. You haven’t taught him how to behave in certain situations, and you have put him in those situations anyway and HE is the one who has suffered by being hit just for behaving how a normal dog would have behaved. None of this is the dog’s fault persay- yes, he did bite, but he was scared and the situation could have been prevented by better judgment calls from the human in his life. You are fully aware of this, you are taking responsibility, and you are acting in his best interest now. You are making a great effort to become an awesome dog mom to him and I truly believe that if you commit to working with the behavioralist, you can turn it around and have an amazing life together. 🙂 I know some of that will feel harsh to read, but, it’s simply a statement of the truth you already acknowledge inside yourself. One that will soon be untrue from the sound of it! 🙂 Your dog isn’t biting because he’s a bad dog- he is a fearful dog reacting in a way natural to dogs who have a stronger fight than flight instinct. This can be remedied!

Second: I will say this once, and I will say it very clearly. Any human who will harm an animal without questioning, especially one who will encourage others to harm animals, is not someone you should trust. The fact that he thinks hitting a dog is some kind of training is outrageous. Negative reinforcement is probably the least successful method anyone could want, and the most damaging- really, it’s just mistreatment with a flimsy justification behind it. Most people who abuse their children and spouses have these tendencies, and most serial killers start out by torturing animals. There’s a difference between ignorance-driven violence and deliberate violence- your situation is probably ignorance-driven (I hope), as your boyfriend probably just doesn’t know much about properly training dogs or working with rescue/abuse dogs, but the motivation does NOT excuse the outcome of the action. You should have a serious, strong discussion with him about hitting your dog and your own feelings on it, and you should absolutely speak to the behaviorist about what your boyfriend did (hitting) and how your dog reacted (biting then fleeing). I recommend NOT involving your boyfriend in the sessions with the behaviorist, because you already know he will bring only negativity and could prevent it from being a successful lesson for your dog.