Wow, when I read this Anita, I remembered this: once he was asking me not to date other people for keeping chances open for us, I told him that he can not ask for chances when 2 years now he refuses to discuss the reasons we break up. 2 days afterwards he told me that he wants to discuss for these reasons and he is thinking much time now for this.. well, as you said, he used something I stated I needed as his own idea to make me fall for this :/

You are pretty right i think – if I tell him I need him to see his mistakes he hill come telling me he has seen them …

I really hope and I feel confident that I will not fall again into the trap. My instinct tells me to run away – and I will now listen to it.

Thank you again for your support..

Dear Craig,

thank you so much for your reply. It is indeed very hard. I passed almost the same 2 years ago, at initial break-up, but I think I was for long not accepting it – we were still talking and I was trying to save the situation for months – so I was not in that pain. Now I see that there is no solution and I should keep moving forward.

I think we both have blame for the break up. I had to think a lot and work with me to understand mine. My worst was during the relationship, for not showing my real feelings and not asking for the things I needed. I was always afraid of rejection or making him angry or sad. He was quite jealous many times, although he does nto admit, so I was losing a part of my social self by being careful what I say for him not to get jealous. In general, I was forgetting my needs and lost a big part of my personality and my spontaneous spirit inside this relationship. I see it now that I managed to re find me again. I tried to discuss it now with him, but he could not understand it, he started telling me that it couldn’t be all a lie all these years and I say all these as an excuse to myself because I am afraid to give a chance to us and I am making a big mistake. He can not even think it was also part of his fault by his aggressive ‘I am always right – it’s your fault’ attitude that was making me hesitant to talk 🙁

Without being calm and determined to talk about all these (and others more) problems, I can not see a chance for us. It will still be me trying to save the relationship and I am really tired to try for so long. I am broken, but deep inside me, I feel I am taking the right decision for both of us.

I am broken for letting someone I care alone, but deep inside me, I feel I am taking the right decision for both of us.  As Anita also said, I also feel he is using some tactics on me now, cause he knows me very well, and how fragile I can get. So with putting again all the blame/guilties/his anger on me, he made me break into pieces again. Also, he only returned, once he saw I started to be happy and dating other guys; for me it is a sign that his ego was hurt, he could not stand seeing me with another man,  and he didn’t do it because he indeed thought for us and understood some things. The previous months, that I have been still trying but I was still in love with him and alone, he could not see a single chance 🙁

Pppffff…. I hope it well gets better soon for both of us. And I hope you do feel better now Craig and the past has only left sweet memories for you 🙂

Thank you!!